NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
White House spox Karine Jean Pierre went ahead and attacked Republicans for not fully and unreservedly backing the administration’s obscene spending abroad, chastising them for not fully backing Hunter Biden’s business associates abroad. She said:
Politicizing our national security interests is a nonstarter. Demanding offsets for meeting core national security needs of the United States—like supporting Israel and defending Ukraine from atrocities and Russian imperialism—would be a break with the normal, bipartisan process and could have devastating implications for our safety and alliances in the years ahead. There is strong bipartisan agreement that humanitarian aid is critical to stopping the suffering of innocent people in Gaza, which is in our direct national security interest.
There is strong bipartisan agreement that it is in our direct national security interest to help Ukraine defend its sovereignty against appalling crimes being committed by Russian forces against thousands of innocent civilians—including attacking them with Iranian weapons. Those atrocities include the hideous use of rape as a weapon and the kidnapping and forced deportation of thousands of Ukrainian children. There is also strong bipartisan support for investing more in border security—including technology to detect fentanyl and hiring more CBP officers—as the President called for.
Threatening to undermine American national security unless House Republicans can help the wealthy and big corporations cheat on their taxes—which would increase the deficit—is the definition of backwards. Playing political games that threaten the source of funding for Israel’s self-defense—now and into the future—would set an unacceptable precedent that calls our commitment to one of our closest allies into question. We cannot afford to jeopardize that commitment as Israel defends itself from the evil unleashed by Hamas.
Continuing, KJP said, “And look, look, what this also shows the world, all this wrangling, is that America can’t be trusted to honor her word if we’re having partisan issues here. What people will think when they see us fighting is that we can’t be believed. Why? Because Hunter made promises. James Biden made promises. Joe Biden made promises. They made those promises to important foreign leaders and those promises need to be respected. We have to stick to our word.”
“Yes, we know the Senate is supposed to be involved in treaties and foreign policy. Perhaps that should have been done. Perhaps Biden should have consulted them. But that’s in the past. That’s not now. Now, we need to stick to our word and honor it. We need to do what Biden promised, what Hunter promised when involved abroad. And what they promised was unlimited aid for any nation that paid their bills. So now we need to send the Ukrainians as much aid as they need. They paid for it! Hunter’s friends need our help and Republicans better get on board with it.“