NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
“Dr.” Jill Biden appeared at the Global First Ladies Academy for a speech and, during it, rambled about nonsense for a bit and then berated the crowd for not thinking of her as a proper doctor. At first, she did the usual thing for people of her stripe and feigned pleasantness and niceness while really acting like a jerk, saying:
“Hello, everyone! It’s wonderful to see all of you.Thank you, First Lady Geingos—Monica. I’m grateful to Dean Fried and Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health for hosting us today. And thank you, Cora, for the work you’ve put into making this event possible.
“When my husband, Joe, served in the Senate, being a political spouse was a small part of who I was. He had a job in Washington, D.C.—and I was a full-time teacher, raising our three kids, and pursuing my education. Politics was just one part of the equation. So when he was elected Vice President, I didn’t realize how much my life would change. Suddenly, I was giving national interviews and being asked to give speeches to thousands of people.
“It was out of my comfort zone to say the least. But I also knew that it was an incredible opportunity. I said to myself on day one: I will never waste this platform. The first public speech I gave was terrifying. My hands trembled; my voice caught in my throat. I tripped over my words. But I focused on why I was there—the chance to make a difference. And over time, it became easier. I saw how I was helping to drive progress for the issues I cared about—supporting military families, community colleges, and supporting young people across the world.”
Then, upon hearing herself say the word “college,” Dr. Jill snapped into a fury like no other. “And listen here,” she said. “A whole lot of people, because I’m a woman, say my doctorate isn’t real. That I’m a fake doctor. Well that’s just a lie! A big lie! I am a doctor, a real one! My doctorate in education that I received without taking any classes from the University of Delaware while my husband was a Senator for Delaware and pulled funding strings for the university is just as real as a heart surgeon’s M.D. degree!”
“So I don’t see why people snicker when referring to me as a doctor. I am a doctor and it’s what people must refer to me as. As women, we will face lots of hostility from those who don’t understand how hard it is to be a woman with a career, a woman with dreams, a woman with brains enough to be a doctor!”
The crowd started snickering and one woman in it pretended to have a heart attack while others asked if there was a “real doctor in the room,” leading Jill to storm off with a red face.
