NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such,
President Joe Biden recently announced that insurance is the new thing his administration is going to focus on, saying, “Today, President Biden announced a series of new actions under a core pillar of his “Bidenomics” agenda to lower health care costs and crack down on surprise junk fees for American families and consumers. Since the beginning of his Administration, President Biden has passed historic legislation to lower health care costs for tens of millions of Americans, took on Big Pharma to finally allow Medicare to negotiate lower prescription drug prices, and took action to eliminate hidden fees in every sector of the economy. Today, the Administration is taking additional steps to continue to deliver on those promises.”
Continuing, he added that he’s stopping companies from charging “surprise” fees to consumers, saying, “New proposed rules would close loopholes that the previous administration took advantage of that allow companies to offer misleading insurance products that can discriminate based on pre-existing conditions and trick consumers into buying products that provide little or no coverage when they need it most. These plans leave families surprised by thousands of dollars in medical expenses when they actually use health care services like a surgery. If finalized, the rule would limit so-called “short-term” plans to truly short time periods, close loopholes made worse by the previous administration, and establish a clear disclosure for consumers of the limits of these plans.”
He then got to the really scary part, which was, “Biden-Harris Administration rules are already preventing as many as 1 million surprise medical bills every month. New guidance will help stop providers from gaming the system by evading the surprise billing rules with creative contractual loopholes that still leave consumers with unexpected costs.”
Why was that scary? Because, right after it, he added, “And look, folks: if you like your insurance you can keep it. Really this time. We’re not trying to take your insurance away, just to keep costs down. Like with Obamacare. But this time we think it’ll work. So last time you lost your insurance because prices tripled thanks to Obamacare. But we fixed that…so now you can actually keep it and costs will be kept down. And that’s a fact, Jack. Got it?”
Predictably, Biden’s claims led to fire and fury on Twitter, where he was mocked for repeating Obama’s claims. “That’s what you idiots said last time,” one commenter said. “And I lost my insurance! Prices for me quadrupled, even after I lost 20 pounds! This is such BS and you are going to make every middle class American broke!”
“You forgot the part where this entire statement was a lie and you’re just helping monopolies at the expense of small, independent businesses,” said another. “The monopolies benefit from your onerous regulations. Normal people can’t deal with it. What BS.”
Another asked if the new insurance rules would make companies cover Hunter’s crack addiction, to which Biden responded by saying that reports of it were “a bunch of malarky”.”
