NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Biden stunned union members when he gave a speech in Pennsylvania yesterday. That’s because, during it, he decided to roll out the announcement of his new “anti-racist” economic policy and inform all of them that their jobs would be shipped to various places in Southeast Asia, mainly Indonesia.
It began with Biden doing the usual Democrat rigamarole and pretending to be someone who cares about the common man and union worker, even though he’s lived like a parasite off of their tax dollars his whole life. He said:
Let me — let me just say one thing very seriously: You know, I think this is the first time — and I’ve been around, as I said, a while — in history where, last week, every single environmental organization endorsed me. No, no, no. And this week, for the first time I’m aware of, the AFL-CIO endorsed this early and every union as well. Because we’re coming together.
I look out in this crowd, and I see a lot of old friends, a lot of folks — as they say in Claymont, Delaware — who brung me to the dance. I told you when I ran for President I’d have your back. And I have. But you’ve had my back as well. And I’m more — excuse me for getting a little emotional — I’m more honored by your endorsement than — than you can imagine. Coming this early, it’s going to make a gigantic difference in this campaign. You know, there are a lot of politicians in this country who can’t say the word “union.” (Applause.) But you know I’m not one of them. I’m proud to say the word. I’m proud to be the most pro-union president in American history. I promised you I would be.
That’s when it went downhill. Continuing, he said, “Now look here. I support unions everywhere. Yes, America, but also in Vietnam, Indonesia, Mexico…the world needs organized labor, and it’d be selfish to keep all the good union jobs stuck here when people in Haiti and Malaysia need them. And that’s an anti-racist fact, Jack. So, though I’m pro-union, that doesn’t mean I’m some trade extremist like my Ultra MAGA predecessor. I believe in equality. In working together. In forging an anti-racist future. So even though I want all of you to be employed, I’m not going to punish companies for diversifying their enterprises.”
At that point, the booing and hissing was drowning out Biden. Fortunately for him, he is deaf, so he had no idea they weren’t supportive. Thus, he continued rather than backing off. “Your jobs are going to Indonesia,” he announced, “and that’s not because it’s cheaper, but because there’s no reason America should get all the steel and aluminium jobs when people of color abroad need living wages far, far more than them. And that’s something I’ll stand by. It’s important.”
Biden was then pelted with rotten tomatoes and had to be ushered off the stage by Secret Service personnel.