Skip to content

“It Wasn’t Heroin, It was PCP, Angel Dust!” Biden’s Disinformation Board Gets in Censorship Squabble with Fox News

    Untitled design
    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact.

    Project Veritas, pulling off yet another propaganda coup for the right, managed to sneak a reporter into the room when a Biden spokesman sent a new Ministry of Truth apparatchik off to harass Fox News over a recent claim about Hunter Biden’s drug use.

    Arriving at the country club just in time to catch the confrontation, here’s the scene that the Project Veritas plant recorded:

    It wasn't heroin, it was angel dust - PCP and I never touched it.

    (yes, that’s the classic scene from Trading Places)

    You, what happened was that Fox News host Tucker Carlson recently tore into Hunter Biden’s drug addiction, claiming in  a viral rant than Hunter was a disgrace to America as a “habitual heroin user”.

    Given that the rest of the show was largely based on Hunter’s crippling crack addiction, it was obvious to all serious, honest watchers that Tucker didn’t actually think Hunter did heroin, but was rather going for a catchy case of alliteration to help the segment stick in the minds of all who saw it.

    Based on how crazy went, he probably succeeded.

    But where Tucker saw an opportunity to make a witty remark that would help him win over whatever people aren’t yet regularly watching him, the one real conservative on Fox News, Team Biden saw an opportunity to silence one of its harshest critics.

    That’s because the Ministry of Truth has just gotten spun up and Tucker, in saying that Hunter was a heroin enthusiast, had technically spread “misinformation”, particularly given how viral his Hunter Biden takedown had gone.

    So, Biden sent his lackeys to silence Tucker, hoping they’d be able to use the incident to shut him up.

    It didn’t work out however. That’s because, unknown to Slow Joe, the Ministry of Truth had hired Hunter. He needed cash to pay for his crippling crack addiction, the Chinese real estate slowdown meant the Red Chinese were no longer open for business, and it was hiring.

    So, in a classic case of an administrative snafu, Hunter was the one sent to confront Tucker about the lie, showing up at the Chevy Chase country club to scream at it him and make Tucker back down.

    Tucker, ever quick on his feet, got Hunter to say the Trading Places line after a bit of back and forth, which was pure gold for Project Veritas. That made Biden look even worse when it came out, which was the first reason why the plan was foiled.

    The second reason was that Hunter, in a video found on his laptop by actual fact-checkers shortly after the whole incident, was seen using heroin, something which made Biden’s insistence that Tucker was lying way too weak for even the Ministry of Truth to maintain.

    Thus ended another battle between Tucker and Biden, another wonderful win for conservatives and major jab in the eye of the many leftist radicals running the country right now.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of the site Follow me on Parler and Gettr.

    Katie Hobbs' press secretary has resigned for threatening to shoot 'transphobes' after the Nashville Christian school shooting. Should she be prosecuted?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.