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Kamala Accidentally Invites Hunter’s Crack Dealer to “Entrepreneurs of Color” Summit

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. 

    During her recent “Roundtable with Young Men of Color Small Business Owners and Entrepreneurs,” Vice President Kamala Harris got caught off guard when she realized she had accidentally invited Hunter Biden’s crack dealer, “T-Bone,” into the “entrepreneurs of color” meeting. That came when she was saying:

    So, we’re going to talk a little bit about that, which is: What can we do to strengthen the work that we have been doing with community banks in a way that it assists you to continue to grow?

    We’re going to talk about the realities for any small business, including, in particular, small businesses owned by people of color — Black people, Latinos, Asians, others — in terms of some of the challenges that exist for anyone but are of a particular concern for our small-business owners who are people of color, which is access to capital, access to markets, access to consumers — access — and what can we do to facilitate and better improve access so that you can then be out there to compete. Because if your product’s good, you will be able to do that, but access to resources shouldn’t be the obstacle between you being able to have what is necessary to compete in a fair way or not.

    To that extent, yes, we do talk about equity. We actually believe it is a good principle, in spite what some so-called leaders might try to suggest. We are proud of the fact that equity is one of our gri- — 

    Cut off, she looked up an noted that one of the men was not in a blue or grey tailored suit, but a faux white fur jacket and gold and purple baseball cap. Further, while the others were pretending to listen intently, he was cleaning his fingernails with a chrome-plated stiletto knife.

    “Sir,” she asked, “what business do you run?”

    “I sell Hunter crack,” he said. “You should know, I’ve been here every week for the past year and a half.”

    Everyone in the room laughed nervously, including Kamala. But not T-Bone. “I ain’t jokin’,” he said, tossing a dime bag full of crack rocks on the table. “That’s my product. It’s good shit. Hunter loves it. And hell, I make more than everyone in this room combined, so don’t be looking at me like that.”

    Kamala then asked why he was at the summit, and he said, “You ushered me in, woman. I was standing outside Hunter’s room waiting for him to wake up, and you pointed at me and told a Secret Service officer to make sure the ‘loitering gentleman’ made it to the summit. I thought there’d be better food here than ho-hos and cold cinnamon rolls. Looks like the White House is trying to economize, what with inflation and all.”

    He then sighed loudly and walked out of the room before anyone could tell him not too, pointedly snatching the bag of crack off the table as he did so. “No free product,” he snapped. “Even for a Vice President.”

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