Note: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
In a groundbreaking move that has political analysts scratching their heads and English teachers everywhere rejoicing, Vice President Kamala Harris has unveiled her latest initiative aimed at revolutionizing political discourse: converting all uncomfortable political questions into word clouds. Dubbed “Clouding the Issue,” this innovative approach seeks to address the nation’s most pressing concerns with a mix of creativity and a touch of mystique.
“Words have power, but word clouds have mystery,” Harris declared at the launch event, standing before a giant screen displaying a colorful amalgamation of words like ‘democracy,’ ‘future,’ and ‘stuff.’ “When faced with a tough question, why settle for a straightforward answer when you can offer a visually appealing, albeit slightly confusing, cloud of words?”
Critics of the initiative have raised concerns about its effectiveness, with one political analyst noting, “It’s like trying to read tea leaves, but at least with tea leaves, you get a cup of tea.” Supporters, however, applaud the Vice President’s creative attempt to make politics more accessible—or at least more aesthetically pleasing.
In practice, whenever Harris is presented with a challenging question, her team will swiftly generate a word cloud, allowing the audience to interpret the swirling vortex of terms as they see fit. “It’s not about avoiding the question,” Harris explained, “it’s about elevating the conversation to a place where words float freely, unencumbered by the need for clarity or specificity.”
As the initiative gains momentum, the White House is considering adopting the strategy more broadly, with rumors of a “State of the Union Word Cloud” already circulating. Critics remain skeptical, but one thing is clear: political discourse may never be the same again.
Kamala Harris Launches Initiative to Convert All Uncomfortable Political Questions into Word Clouds