NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Klaus Schwab raised eyebrows on Tuesday when he, as part of a WEF speech on the necessity of fighting climate change by switching from fossil fuel power to wind power, said:
“And now I call on everyone, the people here exempted, of course, to fully participate in their role fighting the angry sun monster on the behalf of mother Earth!
“Like in the world’s past, the 21st century will be powered not by the dirty coal, smog-producing oil, and scary nuclear power of the 20th century, but by wind power!
“We will fight for the climate, fight against pollution, and rebuild the atmosphere by returning to tradition and thus returning to wind power. Let everyone here think himself, herself, or xirself as in the time of Don Quixote, but tilting for windmills rather than against them!”
Confused as to why Klaus was using right-wing terminology as part of his climate change speech and his focus on tradition, the audience quickly grasped what was going on when he then turned that into a way for him and people like him to show their superiority over the carbon-loving poor people.
Continuing, he then said:
“It is for that reason that I am calling for a change in the world’s dress so that the wind power that will power the future seems less out of place! From now on, I encourage you, no, I command you, to dress as peasants! Dress like those who used windmills in the past did so that those windmills makes sense.
“Yes, it might seem odd. Yes, it might seem demeaning. But this is what it will take to defeat the angry sun monster. This is how we triumph over the carbon fuel fascists!”
The leftist audience widely applauded the speech, loving the idea of getting to wear modern clothes while those they view as beneath them have to dress like peasants and rely on windmills for power.
Asked to comment on the issue, Bill Gates said:
“Well obviously I can’t dress like that. No one would take me seriously when I tell them to drink this wonderful, reclaimed sewer water that the Gates Foundation is producing!
“But the poors, errr, the average, highly valued citizen, definitely should dress like a serf as they eat their bugs, drink their poop water, and do what we tell them to save the Earth. It just makes sense when you think about it, and I’m sure everyone with a brain will agree that it’s completely necessary. Oh, and we need to get those cricket farms up and running so that the serfs get plenty of protein.”
Responses were much the same from other attendees of the conference. Speaking about what Klaus said, many were hear saying “Well obviously I can’t do it, as I need my modern amenities to function as a bureaucrat/actress/”thinker”/etc., but everyone else surely should!”