NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Can a month be multiple things? Can it be both Pride Month and Black Music Month? That’s a question the Biden regime is now trying to answer in the affirmative after outrage grew when it declared June Black Music Month. President Biden did so in a statement, saying, in a speech he gave while wearing a gold chain and kente cloth scarf:
During Black Music Month, we pay homage to legends of American music, who have composed the soundtrack of American life. Their creativity has given rise to distinctly American art forms that influence contemporary music worldwide and sing to the soul of the American experience.
Much of Black music is rooted in African rhythms, coupled with the experience of slavery and struggle in America. Barred from expressing themselves in their native tongues, enslaved people developed a language to articulate their hopes, dreams, sense of loss, and tenacity to overcome the harrowing nature of their lives. They used music to strategically and creatively voice their most deeply held feelings. Today, the creative ways that Black music tells stories of trial and triumph in American life continue to move us all to understand the common struggles of humanity. Spirituals, gospel, the blues, R&B, rock and roll, jazz, pop, rap, hip-hop, and more have molded American culture and given rise to new American art forms emulated around the globe.
[…]NOW, THEREFORE, I, JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., President of the United States of America, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the Constitution and the laws of the United States, do hereby proclaim June 2023 as Black Music Month. I call upon public officials, educators, and all the people of the United States to observe this month by honoring Black musicians and raising awareness and appreciation of Black music.
His black supporters were enthused, with many taking to the streets to rap in celebration. Only 19 homicides were recorded in connection with disputes that arose out of the celebrations, mainly regarding scuffed sneakers and “disrespectful” behavior.
However, not all was cheery in Democrat enclaves after Biden’s announcement. While some of the diversity-minded individuals celebrated, the LGBTQ+ lobby was utterly infuriated that the administration had dared to do anything that would overshadow Pride Month, which at this point is more of a religious celebration to the left than Christmas and Easter combined.
“What the hell does he think he’s doing,” a man on the street of New York City said while walking another man on a leash (both were wearing black leather). “This is a very important month for America, one that we can’t dare let be overshadowed by the also important, though not nearly as much, celebration of black music.”
That then led to a brawl on the street, as one of those “teens” was walking by and heard the statement that rap is not as important as homosexuality, which angered him. The initial punch he delivered was followed by a bite from the man on the dog leash, which then turned into a street fight between about 30 sound cloud rappers and 40 men in varying amounts of black leather.