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LOL: Kamala Harris Chased Out of Africa after Demanding Zambian Farmers “Accept Gay Rights”

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Cackling Kamala Harris had a bad moment over the weekend when, speaking to crowd in Zambia, she argued that the Zambian middle class needs to be more accepting of gay rights and other leftist beliefs. The speech started okay, with Kamala saying:

    On this trip, I have worked with African partners, as well as partners in the United States and around the world, to deliver significant investments on this continent.

    Yesterday, here in Lusaka, I announced more than $7 billion in private sector commitments that will support climate resilience, adaptation, and mitigation.

    In Ghana, earlier this week, I announced $1 billion in public and private sector investments to support the empowerment of African women, including a new Women in the Digital Economy Fund, with four areas of main focus, which are: access, affordability, digital literacy, and gender inequality [equality].

    I met with tech entrepreneurs in Dar es Salaam and women business owners and young creatives in Ghana to understand how we can better support their ideas and innovations.

    And in Zambia this morning, I met with farmers using climate-smart agriculture — agri-tech, some of us call it — in extraordinary ways.

    In my meetings with the presidents of Ghana and Tanzania and here in Zambia, we have launched new initiatives to strengthen our business ties. We have also advanced our work to support democracy and good governance on the continent, which will invariably create greater stability, predictability, the type that businesses require and need to invest.

    But then it took a turn for the worse, with Kamala going on to say, “Now, look: we want to invest, but we won’t if you don’t get on board with the ESG agenda. You’re already doing okay with the solar stuff…as umm…as I mentioned, but you need to get on board with the other things Goldman Sachs and BlackRock want to see. That means you need to start, like, you know, haha, like, ummm, supporting gay rights. Gay rights are cool now and you need to get on board with that, along with like trans stuff. It’s very important to us, so we won’t help you if you don’t side with us on it.”

    Predictably, that didn’t go well for Kamala. She started cackling, which sent the already angry crowd into an absolute fury. It then started lobbing the snacks that had been set out, a combination of boiled eggs, finger sandwiches, and slices of fruit, at her as the Secret Service ushered her off stage while trying not to laugh.

    Zambian media, far from apologizing, argued that the members of the crowd were right to chase her off the stage, as Africa had no reason to support “homosexual colonialism” now that it’s “finally free from the gay Europeans” and that it would instead be “accepting investments from non-gay China” instead of America now that they “know the truth about the gay American agenda.”

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