NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such
White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre tried to boost the Biden Administration’s popularity among Americans on Thursday by claiming, during a speech, that “Bidenomics” policies are “making a difference” for Americans, a comment that drew outrage from the locals who had gathered to listen because of the backbreaking inflation they’ve suffered thanks to Biden.
She began by giving the usual rigamarole about how wonderful and helpful everything that Team Biden has done is, saying:
One year ago, on August 16, 2022, President Biden signed the Inflation Reduction Act into law – the largest investment in clean energy and climate action ever. The Inflation Reduction Act is a transformative law that is helping the United States meet its climate goals and strengthen energy security, investing in America to create good-paying jobs, reducing energy and health care costs for families, and making the tax code fairer.
Just twelve months after the law was signed, it is already having a significant impact on American workers and families, and is delivering for underserved communities and those that have been too often left behind. Outside groups estimate the Inflation Reduction Act’s clean energy and climate provisions have created more than 170,000 clean energy jobs already, companies have announced over $110 billion in clean energy manufacturing investments in the last year alone, the law is delivering billions of dollars to protect communities from the impacts of climate change, and millions of seniors are saving money because their insulin is capped at $35 per month.
Today, to mark the anniversary of the Inflation Reduction Act, the Biden-Harris Administration is releasing a new feature on Invest.gov that highlights stories of how the Inflation Reduction Act and Bidenomics are making a difference for Americans in all 50 states and U.S. territories. Bidenomics is the President’s vision for growing the economy from the middle out and bottom up, including by investing in America, creating good-paying union jobs, and lowering cost for American families.
That’s when outraged Americans lost it and started yelling at her, with the loudest comment being, “How’s it working, Karine? Huh? The only difference you idiots are making is raising prices precipitously! Making a difference by raising prices is all that the Biden Administration is doing! Is Hunter not complaining about rising crack prices yet?”
Joining them was Hunter Biden, on stage to show that the “Biden family cares about Hawaii. He said, “Wait, they have a point. Crack is like 50 percent more expensive than last year! Even my associates in China that keep sending me money can’t keep up with it! It’s ridiculous. So we need to do much better!”
KJP then glared at him, obviously angry that he would insert himself on the side of those heckling the administration. Hunter then brought out a pipe to start smoking crack, but was ushered away by the Secret Service before most people noticed.