NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Former President Barack Obama, using his platform on Twitter to speak out about the necessity of remembering “true heroes” on Memorial Day, decided to challenge his fellow Americans to remember George Floyd and his sacrifice during a speech he posted on Facebook as a live video.
Sitting in his Hawaii mansion and sipping on a daiquiri while slamming “white privilege,” the former president said:
“My fellow Americans, today is, as Vice President Harris said, the Monday off of a long weekend. I hope you enjoy it and stocked up on hot dogs when they were 6 cents cheaper over the Fourth of July.
“But today isn’t only the third day of a long weekend, it’s also a beautiful day on which we can all remember the heroes who gave it all to make our country a better place, heroes like George Floyd.
“Mr. Floyd, that hero of Minneapolis, that tender-hearted hero who was stripped from this Earth far too young by an evil police officer, he is a hero we might all remember and look up to.
“Sure, earlier in life he had run-ins with the criminal justice system, being accused of holding a gun to a pregnant woman’s stomach and demanding money for drugs, for example. But he didn’t let that hold him down!
“No, our George let the insults and indignities imposed upon him by racist cops glide off his back as he went about his career as a porn star, even using fentanyl to remain focused and energetic as he focused on his highly important and certainly societally valuable work.
“But, alas, some racist store owner called the cops on him for using counterfeit cash, as if our George would have ever knowingly done such a thing, and so George was murdered by those vicious cops we all remember from the video.
“George was a hero whose bravery, dignity, and virtue were unmatched by any in our history except perhaps Trayvon. May we always remember him!”
Obama then noted that he was calling on all billionaires to pitch in to build a 60-foot tall gold statue of George Floyd to put up near the former porn star’s favorite check-cashing and crack-buying spot.
Donald Trump Jr., never one to hold back online, mocked Obama by posting a meme that replaced the faces of the men in a landing boat with George Floyd’s face, with the beach labeled “racism”, tagging Obama in the post and sarcastically asking what valor awards George Floyd won in Normandy, or if his medal came from conflict in the Global War on Terror. Commenting on his own post, Jr. sarcastically added that perhaps we wouldn’t have lost to goat herders had we had more soldiers like “our George.”
Obama refused to comment other than remarking to a reported that the meme was “racist” because it painted white men as being brave and ignored the “lived experience” of heroes like George Floyd.