NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
With the derailing of the Norfolk Southern train carrying 20 cars of vinyl chloride that were then set on fire and turned into phosgene gas by emergency responders, Ohio might have suffered one of the worst chemical spills in American history. A gas known for the horror it caused during World War I, phosgene, is drifting over the land and killing animals as toxic chemicals seep into the land and water, contaminating it for all around.
But Ohio is full of white people, not aggrieved minorities, so Biden and his woke administration couldn’t care less about it. In fact, FEMA refused to help Ohio deal with the problem. ABC 6, reporting on that, said:
Ohio Governor Mike DeWine has been advised by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) that Ohio is not eligible for assistance at this time.
DeWine shared on social media that he spoke with the White House earlier this morning to address the need for federal help in East Palestine.
Additionally, DeWine has requested direct support from the U.S. Dept of Health/Human Services, Health & Emergency Response Team, and CDC.
Governor DeWine, posting about the matter on social media, said:
I spoke w/ the White House early this morning to address the need for federal help in East Palestine. As a result of this conversation, I have requested assistance from the U.S. Dept of Health/Human Services, Health & Emergency Response Team, & CDC to provide direct support.
The DeWine Administration has been in daily contact w/ FEMA to discuss the need for federal support, but FEMA continues to advise that Ohio is not eligible for assistance at this time. I will continue working with FEMA to determine what assistance can be provided.
So, Biden and his team couldn’t care less about what happens to actual Americans in the heartland who have to deal with the after effects of a horrible chemical spill.
But they do care about the Ukraine, which has received around $100 billion in financial aid and military aid since the Russian invasion began. So, Gov. DeWine, sensing an opportunity to help residents of his state by using Team Biden’s pro-Ukraine, anti-heartland bias against it, dressed up as Zelensky and issued a request for help online.
Wearing a Zelenksy mask and Taiga Green military jacket from UF-Pro, Gov. DeWine said, “My friends, I hope you do well. As president of Ukraine, it has come to my attention that chemical weapons have been used on Ohio as the Russian dogs want to use them on my people. Phosgene, in particular, is one we must worry about and prepare to contend with. So, to help Ukraine prepare for such an attack, I beg you to aid Ohio in cleaning up the sight of the disaster. Such a policy will be invaluable to us in learning how to handle these weapons.”
Withing minutes of Team Biden seeing the ad, $15 billion had been released to clean up the spill and bring in Ukrainians so that they could gain practical experience in such matters.
By: Will Tanner. Follow me on Twitter @Will_Tanner_1