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OOPS: Biden Accidentally Admits He Profitted Hugely from Hunter’s Lobbying Activities

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Things went wrong in a huge way for Biden on Wednesday when he accidentally made a shocking admission about how much he knew about and profited from Hunter Biden’s lobbying activities.

    That’s a big leap from what Biden has long maintained about his level of knowledge about Hunter’s activities. In 2019, for instance, Biden said “I have never spoken to my son about his overseas business dealings. Here’s what I know. Trump should be investigated. You should be looking at Trump. He’s doing this because he knows I’ll beat him like a drum. And he’s using an abuse of power and every element of the presidency to try to smear me … Ask the right questions.

    His administration has maintained that line, with Ron Klain, for example, saying “The president is confident that his family did the right thing. But again, I want to just be really clear. These are actions by Hunter and his brother. They’re private matters. They don’t involve the president. And they certainly are something that no one at the White House is involved in.”

    Well, Biden blew those lines to smithereens when he was put in front of the teleprompter on Wednesday and said:

    “Now look, my son Hunter is a good guy. A real good guy. How do I know? Well I’ll tell ya Jack, and this is real simple: Hunter always paid me what he owed me, no questions asked. None at all! He’d be flying off to China, or Ukraine…wherever, all over the place, and he’d show back up in the US a few days or weeks later with a check already cut to me!

    “Never had to ask, never had to press him, he always paid me right when he got back and said ‘thanks pops, I couldn’t have done it without you and your name.”

    “Now could you say that about your kids? About the Trump kids? No way Jack, no way at all. I’ll tell you that, it just doesn’t make any sense at all that these people attack Hunter when their kids would never help them out like that. But Hunter helped me and paid me right on time, so I know he’s a good dude!”

    Biden then wandered off stage while muttering about eating oatmeal, leaving his entire staff rushing to try and convince the media to not report on what he had said and accept that he had “gotten confused” because of “low blood sugar.” But the event had been live streamed and the stream wasn’t cut, so the whole nation saw.

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