NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Things went about as poorly as possible when President Biden, during an interview with CNN’s Don Lemon meant to show that Biden is alert and ready to be president and that Lemon has certainly not been demoted despite having been moved from primetime to morning tv, forgot his own name when discussing his mental aptitude for the presidency.
Lemon set things up by saying:
“Mr President, like me you have been the subject of vicious smears, vicious rumors in the past days and months. Now I believe in free speech, but there ought to be a law against vicious rumors, don’t you think?”
“Oh yes,” President Biden responded, “Vicious rumors are a nasty bit of malarky, Jack! Gotta get rid of ’em before it’s too late, that’s what I told Hunter’s friends in China and those oriental fellows gave our brave FBI lots of tips on combatting vicious rumors. Very helpful, the orientals are, I mean.”
Obviously off-put by Biden’s repeated use of the term “oriental” to describe Chinese people but unwilling to derail the interview with accusations of racism so soon (it had been going on for a little under three minutes at this point), Lemon decided to plug ahead and just move on.
So, drawing in his breath and saving the racism accusation for a rainy day, Lemon said: “And as to those vicious rumors about you, Mr. President, lots of people say that you’re not fit to run, that your brain isn’t working and that you’re too senile to be president and handle the rigors of the job. What do you say to that, Mr. President? Are you ready for another term?”
“Hell yeah I am, Sambo” Biden responded, shouting and using a term for black men from the mid-20th century that obviously took Lemon aback quite substantially and would have derailed the interview completely had Biden not followed it up by forgetting his name when attempting to defend his mental prowess, saying:
“Now, lookie here. A lot of people say that because I had a childhood stutter, that because I occasionally say a wrong word or two or whatever, that I’m not fit to be president. That’s a heck of a lot of malarky! Under my presidency, inflation is doing great. With me in charge and my guys guarding the border, America is more diverse than ever. With Hunter in my office, with have a close connection with those Oriental fellows with all the boats.
“So sure, people spread vicious rumors about me, but I don’t care. I know that I’m….errrr, well, ummm, that, err, I’m….dammit, you know, the thing!”
With that, an obviously frustrated and mentally incompetent Biden stood up and tried stalking off, but tumbled over when yanked around by his chest microphone, which was still clipped in.