NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
What’s going on in the Biden White House? Nothing intelligent, as could be expected. Instead, Biden was let off his leash and able to speak a bit too freely, with predictably disastrous consequences.
That began with the White House’s “Racial Equity” Executive Order. Announcing the executive order, the Biden White House said:
On his first day in office, President Biden signed Executive Order 13985, Advancing Racial Equity and Support for Underserved Communities Through the Federal Government. That Order emphasized the enormous human costs of systemic racism and persistent poverty, and provided a powerful and unprecedented mandate for all federal agencies to launch a whole-of-government approach to equity. Over the past two years, agencies have taken historic steps toward ensuring that federal programs are serving the American people in an equitable and just manner and supporting communities that have been locked out of opportunity. Through the implementation of landmark legislation and historic executive action, the Biden-Harris Administration is working to make real the promise of America for everyone—including rural communities, communities of color, Tribal communities, LGBTQI+ individuals, people with disabilities, women and girls, and communities impacted by persistent poverty.
Despite the meaningful progress that the Biden-Harris Administration has made, the reality is that underserved communities—many of whom have endured generations of discrimination and disinvestment—still confront unacceptable barriers to equal opportunity and the American Dream. It is imperative that we reject the narrow, cramped view of American opportunity as a zero-sum game. When any segment of society is denied the full promise of America, our entire Nation is held back. But when we lift each other up, we are all lifted up. As the President has said: “Advancing equity is not a one-year project. It’s a generational commitment.”
To strengthen the federal government’s ability to address the barriers that underserved communities continue to face, today, President Biden signed a new Executive Order, Further Advancing Racial Equity and Support for Underserved Communities Through the Federal Government. This second Order reaffirms the Administration’s commitment to deliver equity and build an America in which all can participate, prosper, and reach their full potential.
It’s full of the usual nonsense. Handouts to cronies of Jessie Jackson, soft-on-crime policies that will make life in the ghetto even worse, the usual mumblings about how horrible and racist certain roads are…the usual for an unserious administration doing unserious things.
But, unexpectedly, Biden was told to speak about it. So he did so, and offended many in the audience by ranting and rambling about Cornpop and how awful Cornpop was for not following orders Biden gave him at a Delaware pool all those years ago. Ending the speech, Biden got even worse, yelling that “all of the funding” would be used to “hunt down Cornpop” and “ensure that he never harms people again.”
Many in the Democratic Party and racial grievance grift group were furious with Biden, calling the speech “racist” and turning a $10 billion boondoggle into even more of a waste of money.
By: Will Tanner. Follow me on Twitter @Will_Tanner_1