NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
How are things going at colleges around the country right now? Despite the free money handout from Team Biden in a clear attempt to buy off underachieving students, not great.
That’s particularly true in the realm of free speech, something that such places obviously hate and want to do away with as fast as humanly possible. “What offends our fragile-minded, septum-pierced, blue-haired students must never be allowed,” such places might as well say.
That’s even true of events at which none of those mutants show up, such as college football games. Apparently, chanting things other than the approved slogans promulgated by China-funded administrators is not to be tolerated in the least, and so colleges are stepping up and taking on those who dare to dissent and start chanting FJB at football games. In fact, they’re even starting to suspend those students that start the chants!
That happened after a University of Tennessee (yes, such things happen even in ruby red states!) football game, where a male just starting his junior year was enjoying the game and a few adult beverages with his fraternity brothers and, furious over the price of beer under Biden, decided to start a very loud “F*** Joe Biden” chant at the end of the 3rd quarter.
That guy, Dan Jones, was very obviously the one who started the chant, a chant which soon shook the entire stadium as those who were watching the game and furious with Slow Joe Biden jumped in to start yelling along. And so the university went after him with all its might, tossing him out of the school for daring to start the chant.
Dan, who can’t be kicked out of his fraternity house because it’s off-campus and whose parents, rental house owners in the Nashville area, were proud of him for starting the anti-Biden chant.
Dan’s dad, speaking to us after his son’s suspension, said “Well, that’s what college is for. Gotta let the boys sow some oats and enjoy a few beers. He don’t need a degree for the family business, so what’s one more semester there if it means he gets to make fun of that senile idiot doing such a piss poor job of running the country? Heck, I couldn’t be prouder of him, I woulda done the same thing in his position, though I mighta said a thing or two to those weird-looking administrators in the process too.”
Dan, who runs a business online in his free time, said that the suspension would just give him more time to make money and that he couldn’t care less, particularly since most of his friends are planning on taking a fifth year anyway. He also pledged to keep the chant going at every game he attends, joking that they can’t suspend him again since he’s no longer a student for this semester.