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Scholars Find “Denying Access to Puberty Blockers” Included in the “history of repeated injuries and usurpations” Draft of Declaration of Independence

    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    Scholars at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Study of the Founding, the most prestigious (though also leftist-dominated) program in the nation for American Revolution and American War for Independence scholars, claim to have made a groundbreaking discovery when re-examining old manuscripts of Jefferson’s.

    In addition to claiming that they found Jefferson firmly voicing his disapproval of “orange-faced demagogues that do mean things to very respectable and well-trained journalists that happen to look like potatoes”, the collection of leftist scholars claims to have found that, in the original draft of the Declaration of Independence, Jefferson included “denying access to gender-affirming puberty blockers to children” in the “history of repeated injuries and usurpations” section of the Declaration.

    Specifically, the scholars, led by Professor Jahred Schlimer, claim that Jefferson included, in his original draft, the line “He has called teachers ‘groomers’ and denied gender-affirming, life-saving puberty blocker access to young children” in between the lines “He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.” and “He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.”

    They also claim that Jefferson then, in a lesser-known, second draft of the Declaration, shortened that to “He has allowed the governors to begin denying access to gender-affirming puberty blockers to children”.

    Apparently, one of Jefferson’s friends read that portion of the draft and convinced him that it was “too radical” and needed to be removed from any draft so as to avoid upsetting or offending the South Carolinians and Georgians.

    Jefferson then, according to the group of scholars, rewrote the entire first draft but did not include any mention of teachers or puberty-blockers so as to keep the Congress together and avoid an acrimonious debate about the nature of gender and whether puberty blockers do prevent transgender suicide. It is that draft, they claim, that is the one we know as the original draft that was marked up and then signed by the Continental Congress.

    Not all scholars agree with those at the Center for the Study of the Founding, however.

    Though less prestigious than the U Penn center, Hillsdale College has a similar program that focuses on the Founders and their writings. According to the professors in it, the “puberty blockers” section of the Declaration is not real, but rather a forgery created by the 1619 Project but dismissed by even the New York Times as too ridiculous to be believed.

    Trump ridiculed the “finding” on Truth Social, posting a link to the Center’s article on the topic and sarcastically saying “What’s next, the Founders said that only evil racists have very perfect phone calls with Ukrainian officials about investigating the corrupt son of a former VP? Ridiculous! Many such cases.

    By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List

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