NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
The Swiss people have long relied on their neutrality to avoid getting drawn into disastrous wars and the cataclysms that the other European powers inflicted on each other in the name of ideology or glory.
However, they’re getting worried. While that neutrality was enough to fend off even the lunatic warmongers in the Third Reich, it looks like neutrality might no longer be enough to be treated as a…neutral. In fact, some are even saying that neutrality is either “literally Hitler” or “literally violence.”
That’s coming from America, where liberals that are furious about Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter are, in their ranting and raving, declaring that Elon’s pledge of Twitter going from full on suppression of conservatives to being a neutral company is “literally violence” in a desperate bid to shame him into censoring their enemies.
The line has even gotten so popular as to be picked up by chaos-loving Antifa goons, who have started burning Teslas they see on the streets and symbolically grinding up model rockets beneath their heels as a show of derision directed toward Elon, declaring that their violence against Teslas and Tesla stores is justified against Elon’s “literal violence” toward “trans people of color” on the platform by “not respecting their lived experiences.”
Worried, the Swiss are rebuilding their border defenses, particularly those facing toward Germany, where many Antifa goons still reside. German Antifa branches said that while they weren’t yet ready to “take direct action against the ‘neutral fascists’ in Switzerland,” they were considering an offensive if the Swiss in any way side with Elon on the issue of hate speech.
The Swiss say that they are confident they can defeat the German Antifa chapter, but worry about what might happen if Antifa America sends its heavy tank division (armed and armored Toyota Priuses) to participate in the assault. In their words:
“We are ready for any light infantry assault. Our country is armed, if neutral, and ready and able to repel whatever soft targets they send into our ravines and passes, where they can be picked off at will.
“However, our anti-armored defenses have lapsed in recent years, so we worry about what will happen if we have to take on those armored vehicles Antifa America has been using to wreck Tesla stores and vehicles. They could prove quite a challenge.”
As of now, it’s unclear if the other neutral nations, particularly Sweden and Finland, are worried that their current neutrality will lead to Antifa attacks given the current leftist “neutrality is violence” talking point. However, given that Russia does not allow such goons as Antifa within its borders, the likelihood of such an attack is limited, for now, at least.
Still, experts are cautioning them to arm up just in case and get ready for an assault in case things escalate beyond this point. We’ll keep you updated as new news about the potential for war over neutrality ramps up.