*NOTE: This article is satirical*
In an awe-inspiring display of environmental activism, pop sensation Taylor Swift took to TikTok Live from the luxurious confines of her private jet, passionately decrying the existential threat of global warming. Swift, adorned in designer eco-friendly attire, spared no expense in detailing the dire consequences of climate change, all while jet-setting to her next concert venue.
“As I look out the window at the clouds below, I’m reminded of the fragility of our planet,” Swift solemnly declared, sipping on an artesian water bottled at a sustainable source mere continents away. “It’s imperative that we all do our part to reduce our carbon footprint,” she urged, moments before instructing her pilot to take a slight detour to catch the sunset perfectly for her Instagram feed.
Swift, ever the environmental crusader, shared her groundbreaking solution to the crisis: “If everyone just writes a song about how sad global warming is, I truly believe we can heal the Earth.” She then previewed her latest single, “Jets are Red, Violets are Blue, Global Warming’s Real and I’m Sad Too.”
The star’s profound concern for the planet was palpable as she detailed her rigorous efforts to combat climate change, such as using only organic fuel for her private jet and ensuring her backstage riders include only locally-sourced vegan glitter.
“I’m just like you,” Swift confided to her millions of followers, “except I can see the effects of global warming from 30,000 feet.” Her TikTok Live ended on a hopeful note, with Swift promising to plant a tree for every private flight she takes this year – a move she hopes will inspire her fans to also make sacrifices, like maybe recycling more or something.