NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Desperate to fight the right on any battleground possible, Team Biden recently decided to release an executive order in which it defended pedophiles and “pedophile rights”, claiming to be standing up for the “oppressed MAP minority” (MAP meaning Minor Attracted Person, the newest euphemism for pedophile) and against “bigoted Republicans.”
Admiral Rachel Levine is widely suspected of writing the press release, which said:
“MAPs, or Minor Attracted Persons, have long been an oppressed minority within the United States. Like the transgender population, genderqueer individuals, and even homosexuals, MAPs have long been abused by reactionaries and are even now being attacked by the vicious puritans within the GOP.
“We in the Biden Administration will stand firmly against the erosion of their rights within red states and fight for the right of all to do as they please with consenting sexual partners of any age, gender, or color. You have our promise that we will keep fighting for their rights.
“Now is the time to stand up for the sexual revolution and against puritanical visions of morality and attempts to make Christian rules American law. The separation of church and state must be preserved, the evil right fought against, and the rights of all preserved. So long as we’re in the Oval Office, they will be. A vote for Biden is a vote for MAP rights!”
The press release also included a quotation from a leftist professor who is a known defender and promoter of the term “MAP” and of the rights of such sickos, with the quotation saying:
“From my perspective, there is no morality or immorality attached to attraction to anyone because no one can control who they’re attracted to at all. In other words, it’s not who we’re attracted to that’s either OK or not OK. It’s our behaviors in responding to that attraction that are either OK or not OK.”
“We have a tendency to want to categorize people with these attractions as evil or morally corrupt. But when we’re talking about non-offending MAPs, these are people who have an attraction they didn’t ask for.”
“So, their behaviors are moral. But they’re still being subjected to this same idea that they’re bad people and they’ve often internalized that for themselves.”
The online version of the press statement also included this video of the MAP-loving professor:
He’s really out here defending pedos pic.twitter.com/bYRlxsWpUc
— Libs of TikTok (@libsoftiktok) November 12, 2021
So that’s what the left is up to with Biden in charge: fighting for the right of pedos to somehow live out their personality as “MAPs” so long as their sexual partners are “consenting,” though how a child can consent to the advances of a “MAP” is unclear and was not discussed by Team Brandon.