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Team Brandon Declares New ACA will “Always” Make Trans Surgery Free

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    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.

    In a statement that was something of a surprise given everything else that is currently going on, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre viciously attacked Republicans and the judiciary for striking at the Affordable Care Act, saying:

    The President is glad to see the Department of Justice is appealing the judge’s decision, which blocks a key provision of the Affordable Care Act that has ensured free access to preventive health care for 150 million Americans. This case is yet another attack on the Affordable Care Act – which has been the law of the land for 13 years and survived three challenges before the Supreme Court.

    Preventive care saves lives, saves families money, and protects and improves our health. Because of the ACA, millions of Americans have access to free cancer and heart disease screenings. This decision threatens to jeopardize critical care.

    The Administration will continue to fight to improve health care and make it more affordable for hard-working families, even in the face of attacks from special interests.

    Given the current culture war battles, particularly the fight over gun rights and transgender individuals following the shooting at the Covenant School in Nashville, the statement was something of a surprise? Why worry about a defanged health care system when the real issue of the day is something far different?

    Well, it turns out the events are connected. Before the judge’s decision on the ACA, Team Biden had been in the final stages of readying a “New ACA” that would raise taxes yet again in order to fund free transgender surgeries, called “gender affirming surgeries” by the bill, for anyone who wants one. It would have done so by levying an additional 2% tax on capital gains and 12% tax on non-transgender surgery related medical drugs and services.

    The judge’s ruling made that update to the ACA untenable and illegal, so the Biden Administration, which had been using most of its remaining political capital in Congress and the executive branches to push it forward, was furious. It then sent KJP to freak out about the decision, though she was told to keep the transgender aspect of the freak out under wraps because of the recent shooting.

    Fortunately, it is unlikely the Biden Administration will win the appeal because the judges with whom it will have to work were all appointed by Trump and are no fans of the ACA, which many in the Federalist Society and other conservative-leaning legal groups see as unconstitutional.

    A White House insider reports that if Biden loses the appeal, he and his administration will consider adding SCOTUS judges in a last-ditch attempt to ram it through.

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