NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Back before his daughter lost in hilarious and humiliating fashion to her Trump-backed challenger, Harriet Hageman, former Vice President Dick Cheney released an anti-Trump, pro-Liz Cheney commercial meant to help out his daughter at a time when things looked worse than ever for her.
Attacking Trump in the ad and defending Liz’s RINO-like, reprehensible behavior, former VP Cheney said:
“In our nation’s 246-year history there has never been an individual who was a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump.
“He tried to steal the last election using lies and violence to keep himself in power, after the voters had rejected him. He’s a coward, a real man wouldn’t lie to his supporters. He lost his election, and he lost big. I know it, he knows it and deep down I think most Republicans know it.
“Lynne and I are so proud of Liz for standing up for the truth, doing what’s right, honoring her oath to the Constitution when so many in our party are too scared to do so. Liz is fearless, she never backs down from a fight. There is nothing more important she will ever do than lead the effort to make sure Donald Trump is never again near the Oval Office and she will succeed. I am Dick Cheney, I proudly voted for my daughter and I hope you will too.”
Well, now we know why Liz and her dad are so anti-Trump and so willing to viciously attack him whatever the truth of the matter or her (supposed) conservative principles: oil was found under Mar-a-Lago.
Apparently, that discovery came on Sunday night when, during a family dinner, Donald Trump Jr. looked out the window and saw a geyser of oil shooting up into the air from out on the beach.
BP engineers were quickly called in and explored the scene of the oil geyser, estimating that there were over 3 billion barrels of oil in a massive deposit buried right under Mar-a-Lago in something of a massive column of oil.
Trump, wanting to keep Mar-a-Lago beautiful, refused to let anyone drill, but that’s when the BP engineers told him something else they found: Haliburton engineers had apparently snuck into the beautiful facility and had sneakily drilled for oil and found the massive deposit under the resort.
Apparently, that was back in 2017, back when Liz’s nasty attacks on Trump really kicked into high gear.
Commenting on the incident in a Truth Social post, Trump said “Looks like we found out why Liz hates me so much, along with her war-criminal dad! There’s oil under Mar-a-Lago, almost as much as could be stolen from Iraq by that nasty man! Makes sense when you realize how corrupt they are!”