NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
What is the Biden Administration spending your tax dollars on? Not on Americans. Rather, its spending billions upon billions of dollars fighting infectious diseases in Africa, as if that’s the most important thing it could do with American money. Such is what it announced in a recent press release, saying:
The Biden-Harris Administration continues to prioritize global health security as a critical component of national biodefense. The COVID-19 pandemic, as well as HIV/AIDS, Ebola, mpox and other outbreaks in recent years, has demonstrated the catastrophic impacts infectious diseases can have on health, economies, and societies, regardless of where they start. The United States partners with countries around the world to build stronger global health security capacity – the ability to prevent, detect, rapidly respond to, and recover from new and emerging public health threats and prevent their spread across borders. Partnering with countries to stop infectious disease threats at their source, including by strengthening equitable health systems in their own countries and across regions, effectively protects the health of Americans and people across the world.
Investing in global health security today to avert the next global pandemic could save trillions of dollars and millions of lives. The report released today details key outcomes from our Fiscal Year 2022 partner country activities, including that seven of our partner countries achieved demonstrated capacity across five technical areas — improving their ability to prevent, detect, and respond to infectious disease threats. Additionally, six countries are close to achieving this goal. Across partner countries, there has been substantial progress in strengthening zoonotic disease control, national laboratory capacity, emergency preparedness, and risk communication.
The report spotlights the impact of United States investments in partnership with countries, such as: the creation of a COVID-19 Country Systems Monitoring Tool in 48 countries to track progress; in Burkina Faso, the development of standard operating procedures for international airports for the detection and management of ill travelers; and in Vietnam, doubling the number of healthcare facilities enrolled in a national surveillance network for healthcare associated infections. The results are clear: investing in preparedness and prevention saves lives, strengthens resilience, and yields tangible results, including helping to rapidly address outbreaks of Ebola, yellow fever, Lassa fever, polio, influenza, and many others.
Continuing, the report said, “Helping the Ugandan Ministry of Health stop sleeping sickness and working with the top Liberian health officials to slow the spread of Lassa fever is the best thing we could possibly be spending American tax dollars on. Yes, Americans are suffering and domestic investments are needed too. But what really matters more than anything is making sure that the highly competent, not at all corrupt African health ministers get as much funding as they possibly want, all thanks to the American taxpayer and Treasury money printer.”
It then included a message from President Biden, who said, “Hunter told me, based on his travels abroad and experiences working with many different agencies and governments, that the developing world needs our help and our money. So I’m happy to send them as many of your tax dollars as they need, and I know none of it is being used for corruption.“