NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Well, Liz Cheney just got blown out of the water in her primary race against her Trump-backed challenger for the GOP nomination (yes, Cheney was bizarrely still running as a Republican), Harriet Hageman.
Hageman, who ran an excellent campaign that was quite popular with average conservatives around the state, won by about 37 percentage points, taking in 66.3% of the vote compared to Liz Cheney’s miserable 28.9 percent of the state’s GOP vote.
Though that was a massive win, it wasn’t big enough to keep Trump from getting suspicious that some cheating or other nastiness might have been at play, particularly given Liz’s father’s Deep State connections from his time as Warmonger in Chief (and unofficial Haliburton rep) as George W. Bush’s VP.
And so Trump took to Truth Social to claim that Liz and her father’s Deep State friends had attempted to rig the election, or at least shift things enough to make them mildly less embarrassing for the Trump-hater running as a Republican. Making that claim and lighting into Cheney with a vengeance, Trump said:
“ANOTHER RINO DOWN! This is a very, very great day for the American Republic. One of the best. Nasty Liz Cheney, that horrible woman from the great state of Wyoming, she just lost her race very, very badly. Everyone said “Oh, Trump, he can’t pick winners…the RINOs are gonna win!” Well look at the results, losers and haters, Trump was right, you were wrong. Wrong yet again, I should add.
“But that’s okay. Everyone gets things wrong sometimes, I’m not bitter. It was a great day and Harriet, a great patriot, she did a very good job. Not as good as me in 2016 or 2020, and I won both times, you know, but very good anyway.
“However, though her win was great, it would have been even bigger and more beautiful if the DEEP STATE hadn’t tried to cheat. Liz only losing by less than 40 points? Please. Many people are telling me, you wouldn’t believe how many people, that Liz tried to rig that election.
“They’re saying “Mr. President, Harriet, she was gonna win by 50, 60 points! Cheney has no one willing to vote for her other than her dad and that actor that shot a guy (Alec Baldwin, another loser). But then Cheney only lost by 37 points. Suspicious!”
Adding to that post, Trump later fired off another post claiming that “many, many beautiful people” had given him “very convincing evidence” that “Dick the dick’s friends at the CIA had some nasty, nasty things on election day” but that “their plans failed because Liz was just too unpopular for anyone real to vote for,” something that apparently messed up the plans of the comically incompetent CIA.