Former President Donald Trump was exonerated in Georgia of charges under the RICO statutes after Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez declared that RICO “is not a crime,” especially if President Joe Biden might be involved in similar activities. The courtroom, packed with spectators, media, and a roaming band of confused tourists, erupted into a mix of cheers, groans, and bewildered murmurs as the judge cited AOC’s statement as a pivotal factor in his ruling.
“Well,” the judge began, adjusting his glasses with an air of resignation, “if a distinguished member of Congress believes that RICO— a cornerstone of our legal system used to dismantle organized crime—is not a crime, who am I to argue? Therefore, in the spirit of fairness and bipartisan confusion, I hereby declare Mr. Trump exonerated of all charges. Court adjourned.”
The courtroom, aflutter with activity, seemed to pause for a moment as the gravity of the judge’s words sank in. Trump, wearing a grin that threatened to split his face, was seen whispering to his legal team, “See? I told you tweeting was the best defense.”
In the aftermath of the ruling, the judge’s statement, “Well, if AOC is saying RICO isn’t anything bad, then… Trump, you’re off the hook!” has gone viral, spawning memes, late-night comedy sketches, and even a short-lived Broadway musical titled “RICO: Maybe It’s a Crime, Maybe It’s Not.”
As for Trump, he’s reportedly considering adding “Legal Scholar” to his resume, right between “Former President” and “Steak Magnate.” Meanwhile, law schools across the nation are hastily adding “The AOC Exception” to their curriculum, ensuring future lawyers are prepared for a world where legal definitions are as fluid as the politics that shape them.