NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Liz Cheney of Wyoming has proven herself to be a persistent thorn in the side of former President Donald Trump, using whatever tools are at her disposal to attack him, smear him, and otherwise make it difficult for him to implement the conservative policies that he wanted to implement. After years of fundraising on the pledge of beating the left, Liz was evidently too uncomfortable with victory to go all in on winning.
And so now she has enraged her constituents, using her position to impeach Trump, sit on the slanderous and kangaroo court-like January 6th Committee, and appear frequently on leftist cable news shows to attack Trump.
Well, those constituents are so unhappy with her that they seem intent on throwing her out of office, draining the swamp by removing one of the worst swamp creatures from it.
Though Harriet Hageman, his pick for Liz Cheney’s seat, is up tremendously in the polls right now, former President Trump has a better idea about how to beat her: he’s going to move to Wyoming and run in the race, rubbing in Cheney’s face just how easy it is for him to beat her when she’s out of her D.C. comfort zone.
Speaking on that in a recent phone call into Tucker Carlson’s show, Trump said:
“Well Harriet, she’s very great. Everyone says so and she’ll make a great representative for Wyoming. As soon as I win and step down, she’ll be made Congresswoman Hageman by the governor; I already talked it over with him and her and both of them are on board, so that’s great.
“But Harriet obviously isn’t the issue. If she were, things would be very different, let me tell you. No, she’s great, but Liz Cheney is terrible. Teriible. Just the worse. Quite a bad hombre, some might say. Many say that, actually.
“So I need to defeat Lyin Liz Cheney. I need to show her who’s boss, show her that she can’t just start attacking Republicans when she was elected to fight the left. That’s what I’ll do; I’ll teach her a very big, very important lesson about fighting in politics and messing with the wrong people, one that she won’t forget.”
Harriet Hageman was quoted by Politico as saying that though she was “disappointed” to not “have the opportunity to rub a defeat in Liz Cheney’s face and make her feel the pain in 2022”, she would be “happy to step aside so that President Trump can get his revenge on Liz”, adding that since she’d end up with the seat anyway, who ran in the election wasn’t a big deal to her.
Liz tweeted out that she would “beat both Trump and Hageman” if she had to, though that mostly drew scorn and laughs rather than approval or pledges of support.