*The following article is satire. Treat is as such*
Trump Tower has skyrocketed in value to a mind-boggling $5 trillion after every room was adorned with paintings by none other than Hunter Biden. The unexpected surge in worth has sent shockwaves through the Manhattan real estate market and sparked rumors of a budding friendship between the two political dynasties.
“It’s incredible, folks, really incredible,” declared former President Donald Trump, sporting a signature grin as wide as his penchant for hyperbole. “I always knew Hunter was a real talent. And now, thanks to him, my tower is worth more than all the gold in Fort Knox. Believe me, it’s the best investment I’ve ever made.”
The news sent real estate moguls and art aficionados into a frenzy, with some speculating that the newfound allure of Trump Tower could only be matched by the discovery of a hidden treasure trove of Beanie Babies in the basement. “It’s like the Mona Lisa meets the Art of the Deal,” gushed one enthusiastic buyer, eagerly brandishing a checkbook the size of a small yacht.
As for Hunter Biden, the sudden surge in demand for his paintings has left him bemused but pleased. “I guess you could say I’m making America great again, one brushstroke at a time,” he quipped, pausing to light a cigarette with a $100 bill.
As the saga of Trump Tower’s astronomical rise in value continues to unfold, one thing is for sure: in the world of real estate and politics, stranger things have happened. And in this case, it’s as if the art of the deal and the art of painting collided in a masterpiece of financial absurdity.