NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
President Trump just trolled the FBI in a hilarious way after finding out that there was a mole within his inner-circle, letting it be known that he had “many boxes of sensitive information” that he has hidden all over his golf courses, particularly the Aberdeenshire golf course and Bedminster, NJ golf course.
The FBI, not wanting to let the paper inside the boxes rot or let Trump get away with hiding information, decided it needed to take dramatic action to collect the documents and do with them whatever it didn’t do to Hunter’s hard drive but did do to the documents it seized from Mar-a-Lago.
Commenting on that, the FBI said that “It would never rest and would spare no expense” in an “immense effort to hold Trump accountable for his many crimes.” What crimes? Unspecified, such isn’t what we’re supposed to care about.
But, in any case, the FBI did devote tremendous energy and expend precious resources on digging up the boxes. It had to get permission from the UK government to travel into Scotland and start digging up a golf course, had to undergo a firing line of criticism within the US to travel to the Bedminster golf course and start digging, and had to pay Trump’s company a tremendous amount of money for shutting down the courses so that it could dig and then pay him to repair the courses after it finished digging.
Better yet, dozens of FBI agents ruined their suits while toiling in the mud of the rain-drenched golf courses while digging for whatever buried treasure they thought Trump had hidden.
After spending those resources, however, they were disappointed with what they had found: all that was in the boxes were printouts of Hunter Biden smoking crack, printouts of Trump tweets, and reams of blank paper.
Worse yet, despite realizing pretty quickly that the documents were useless, the FBI had to spend thousands of manhours sorting through the millions of pages of paper to ensure Trump hadn’t hidden anything valuable in useless seeming boxes.
Trump, for his part, tried to talk about the troll during an appearance on Hannity, but was laughing so hard at his own prank that he couldn’t even talk about the troll.
He then posted about the troll on Truth Social, saying that he was glad he had “tricked the FBI into paying him enough to give his courses a MAJOR UPGRADE” following the Saudi-backed LIV tour and that he was “glad to finally be getting a few of his tax dollars back from the government.” He added that he would “continue to outwit those losers” until they “realize that Teflon Don can’t be stopped!”
The FBI declined to respond, being sufficiently humiliated by the troll to shut up about it.
By: Gen Z Conservative, editor of GenZConservative.com. Follow me on Facebook and Subscribe to My Email List