Skip to content

US Cheers “Bilateral Framework” with Mexico While Threatening to Invade It

    shutterstock 2246900317
    Note: This article may contain commentary or the author's opinion.

    NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact

    From the Biden Administration’s latest statement about Mexico and our agreement with it, you’d think everything was rainbow and unicorns between the two countries, as the “joint statement” released by both was mainly positive and talked about how closely they’re working together, saying, in part:

    DOJ’s Operation Southbound, led by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, encompasses a whole-of-government approach to disrupt firearms trafficking from the United States to Mexico.  This initiative, which includes Department of Homeland Security law enforcement, has significantly increased firearms trafficking investigations with a nexus to Mexico, as well as firearms and ammunitions seizures.  DHS is also committed to expanding weapons seizures through Operation Desert Lightning, which targets known trafficking corridors as part of an expanded effort under DHS’s Operation Without a Trace.  The U.S and Mexican delegations committed to undertake a series of public outreach events across our shared border to bring greater attention to weapons trafficking enforcement activities.

    The United States and Mexico committed to developing a bilingual, binational public awareness prevention campaign in each country that educates our citizens, especially young people, on the dangers of synthetic drugs, including fentanyl, that ravages our communities.  This campaign will build on President Biden’s launch of a national anti-fentanyl campaign last week and President López Obrador’s public efforts to prevent youth drug use in Mexico.  As a first step, the two countries will convene a binational panel of experts to share information and best practices on evidence-based substance use and overdose prevention campaigns among U.S. and Mexican public health experts.

    Well, despite the cheery, constructive tone. That’s not really what’s happening. Instead, the country that just lost to the Taliban now plans on invading its southern neighbor to wage war on the drugs that its blue states are legalizing. What a great way to spend blood and treasure!

    Joe Biden’s foreign policy czar was heard discussing invasion plans in a leaked tape, saying, “Look, just think of all the benefits of invading Mexico. All the power we’ll gain at home to lock people up and spy on them, all the money we can spend all our friends in the defense companies, all the white boys we can send to die and then replace them with refugees or whatever from Mexico. We can do a lot of winning without really all that much fighting or whatever, and it’s not like our kids are the ones who are gonna die. I mean, heck, what are the downsides other than the monetary cost, which isn’t really a cost since we can just force Powell to lower rates and tax the white middle class more? This is an absolute win.”

    Putin pledged to aid Mexico if the “Yankee imperialists” dare to “violate its sacred sovereignty,” as did Xi’s China and all the cartels, who vowed to fight the Yankees rather than the Mexican government if an invasion does indeed happen. The Mexican government is yet to comment.

    Now that DeSantis has officially put himself in the presidential race, who will you be voting for?(Required)
    This poll gives you free access to our premium politics newsletter. Unsubscribe at any time.
    This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.