NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was another embarrassing day for the Biden Administration, though this time, it was Kamala Harris to blame rather than Joe Biden. She, bizarrely, echoed Julius Caesar and Douglas MacArthur in speaking about herself in the third person when describing what happened during her meeting with the Indonesian Prime Minister.
That came at the tail end of her trip to Indonesia, with VP Harris appearing before a small press gaggle outside of the US embassy and saying:
Vice President Kamala Harris met today with Indonesian President Joko Widodo in Jakarta, Indonesia. The two leaders highlighted the strength of U.S.-Indonesia ties and announced their intention to elevate the U.S.-Indonesia relationship to a Comprehensive Strategic Partnership. In the context of this expanded partnership, the leaders look forward to deepening cooperation on economic growth and development; energy; maritime issues; defense; global and regional issues; people-to-people contacts; the digital economy and cybersecurity; global health; and building a sustainable future.
Vice President Harris congratulated Indonesia on its successful ASEAN chairmanship, and expressed support for Indonesia’s leadership in the Indo-Pacific. She reiterated the United States’ commitment to ASEAN centrality, support for Indonesia’s chair year theme – “ASEAN Matters: Epicentrum of Growth” – and support for robust implementation of the ASEAN Outlook on the Indo-Pacific. The two leaders discussed opportunities to expand economic cooperation, including through implementation of the $20 billion Just Energy Transition Partnership, which will mobilize historic levels of public and private financing to support Indonesia’s energy transition and climate-aligned economic growth. They discussed the importance of respect for human rights and democratic institutions.
The Vice President and President Widodo also expressed concerns regarding the coup in Burma, underscoring their commitment to supporting the people of Burma in returning their country to the path of democratic transition. They also reviewed the importance of upholding international law and freedom of the seas in the South China Sea.
Continuing, she said, “The Vice President has, in addition to discussing important issues with the Indonesian government, found time to explore this beautiful archipelago community. What the Vice President found while exploring is that the many islands here are stunningly beautiful in many different ways, with the lush jungle of the tropics mixing brilliantly with beaches few have ever seen. However, the Vice President also had a hard time staying outdoors for too long, as the biting bugs and blazing sun were getting to her. So the Vice President thinks Indonesia is, umm, hot and buggy, but beautiful all the same.”
Kamala’s staff later told the journalists that VP Harris had been speaking about herself in the third person because she had been left sundazed and confused by the intense heat. That broke down upon the slightest investigation, as VP Harris had been inside all day meeting with the Indonesian PM.