NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Some doofus in the Biden Administration decided that letting Vice President Kamala Harris talk about the situation in Israel would be a good idea, so she did so…with predictably disastrous results, saying that the Biden Administration has refused to back either side wholeheartedly because it doesn’t know which interest group to back.
That came during here speech on the matter and calls she had with world leaders, during which she started off strong with a defense of Israel then gradually drifted into siding with the Palestinians, saying:
Today, I had productive meetings with the leaders of the United Arab Emirates, Jordan, and Egypt. And I spoke to the Amir of Qatar to discuss developments in Gaza and to accelerate planning for the day after the fighting. I will get to those conversations in a moment. But first, let’s take a step back. On October 7th, Hamas terrorists launched a terrorist attack that killed 1,200 innocent people in Israel, including 35 Americans. It was a brutal and horrific massacre. Babies and Holocaust survivors were killed. Young people who were simply attending a concert were shot dead. Two hundred and forty hostages were taken from their homes.
And over, then, the past eight weeks, President Biden and I have been clear: Israel has a right to defend itself. And we will remain steadfast in that conviction. We are working with Israel and our partners in the region to secure the release of all the hostages, which includes Americans. The recent pause in the fighting proved effective. More than 100 hostages were reunited with their families during this time, including two more Americans, and humanitarian aid surged into Gaza. As I told the families of American hostages when I met with them, we will not waver in our commitment to bring them home.
Let me be also very clear, as I’ve said before: We cannot conflate Hamas with the Palestinian people. Hamas is a brutal terrorist organization. Hamas has vowed to repeat October 7 until Israel is annihilated. No nation could possibly live with such danger, which is why we support Israel’s legitimate military objectives to eliminate the threat of Hamas. President Biden and I have also been clear with the Israeli government in public and in private many times: As Israel defends itself, it matters how.
Then, she said, “And, look, our Administration has tried to strike a fine line with who we are supporting here. Both sides have good points. More importantly, both sides have good lobbying organizations and powerful interest groups. On one side, we don’t want to get the Israel Lobby mad…it’s quite powerful and can throw a whole lot of money around. On the other hand, we really can’t afford to side against people of color around the world. So that means we don’t what to do or which side we need to back in this conflict, as it pits those two groups against each other.”