NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Team Biden has moved forward with its Infrastructure Bill in recent years, or so it claims, but many Americans are confused as to why the conditions of America’s roads and bridges seem to be declining daily despite the trillions that the government claims to be spending on building up America’s infrastructure.
Why is that? Well, because rather than building bridges and roads, the powers that be are tearing down existing ones that Mayor Pete and his coterie of crazies have determined are “racist.” Such is what President Biden explained in a recent speech, saying:
Two years ago, I signed into law a once-in-a-generation investment in our nation’s infrastructure and — to fix our roads, railroads, bridges, ports, airports; remove every single lead pipe in the country; and extend high-speed Internet, advance clean energy, and modernize the electric grid — energy grid. Already, we’ve announced over 40,000 projects in 4,500 communities all across our country.
And when folks see these big projects in their hometowns, when they see the cranes up in the air and the shovels in the ground, I really think — coming from an area that got shut down, up in Scranton, Pennsylvania, and then a steel mill in Claymont, Delaware — I think they — it brings them hope. It brings them hope and pride. It brings pride back to communities that were left behind for much too long. And it brings a sense of security as well.
That’s why we are here today: to discuss how we can ensure that we invest in infrastructure that is secure, reliable, resilient for generations to come, no matter what. Because it’s not just about building infrastructure, it’s about building better infrastructure, stronger infrastructure — infrastructure that can withstand 21st century challenges from climate change to cyberattacks to natural disasters to foreign threats and so much more.
Continuing, he said, “Look, America’s infrastructure is in need of help. And while everyone thinks about things like…ummm…well, building things or whatever, which is cool and well the bridges are big and stuff, well, it’s ummm, it’s not enough, Jack! America is full of things we gotta tear down. So many roads and bridges around now are racist!”
“They’re racist, Jack! Look, if you go back to way before ummm…well, back when I was elected for the first time, well, back then a lot of big bridges and a bunch of highways and interstates and the like are racist, or whatever. Like they were made to help, umm, to keep people of color out of certain areas and communities. And that’s a fact, Jack. They were! People don’t believe that, but it’s the case! And so, we gotta look at those bridges, and roads, and railroads…heck, where do you think the phrase ‘other side of the tracks’ comes from? So, anyway, we gotta look at those and tear down the racist ones!“