NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Kamala Harris again went on a nearly nonsensical ramble, this time about the state of “democracy” in the world and why she thinks it needs to be defended…a speech that was predictably full of her usual rambling and nonsense. She began by saying:
So, there’s a lot to talk about, but let’s start with this. And I think it’s part of the theme of the evening. We love our country. We love our country. And there is so much about this moment and, certainly, the next 11 months that will be about fighting for this country we love and fighting to make real the promise that we all hold so dear — a promise that is based on fundamental, foundational ideals, freedoms — the right of individuals to have a government and a nation protect their individual rights and their freedoms in such a foundational way.
This election is going to be about a fight for our democracy and all that we hold dear. And so, we all come together with, I think, a collective and a shared spirit of knowing that this is a fight borne out of love for something, not against anything. And so, that’s with that spirit that we join together tonight and understanding that we have to stay vigilant. And none of us — and I’m preaching to the choir here — none of us can afford to passively sit by and watch what we have been witnessing happen without being active and taking a stand to fight for all that we hold dear.
So, that’s how I think about the moment that we are in. And it’s not only about who we are as a nation as it relates to each other. This is also about our standing globally around the world. I will tell you that, as vice president, I have now met with over 100 world leaders — presidents, prime ministers, chancellors, and kings. And one of the things I can tell you is that when we walk in those rooms representing the United States of America, we walk in those rooms chin up, shoulders back, with the earned and self-appointed authority to talk about the importance of rule of law, democracies.
Then, continuing with the democracy point, she said, “And we must defend democracy because democracy is good, and so we will defend democracy from those that don’t like democracy. And why must we do this? Because democracy is good and so we have to have more democracy.”
“Bad people like the bad orange man don’t like democracy because they are bad. So since they are bad, they don’t like good things. And we know democracy is good. Obviously! Just look at it. It’s full of good things, like me and President Joe!” She then started cackling uncontrollably to herself, obviously finding something funny. The rest of the crowd sat in horrified silence.