NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Following Biden’s signing of the Inflation Reduction Act that Democrats somehow managed to convince Manchin to sign and so pushed through the legislature, a few online fact-finders have decided to do what many Democrats who voted for it didn’t and read the bill, searching for all the ridiculous provisions within it.
While much of the bill is bad, particularly the provisions within it regarding the new IRS agents and the new taxes placed on petroleum and stock buybacks, there’s another problem with the bill that might be even worse.
Apparently, buried deep in the middle of it is a provision that some whistleblowers are saying Admiral Rachel Levin pushed for, one that allocates $6.66 billion a year on funding providing puberty blockers to children without the consent of the parents of those children.
Specifically, that part of the spending package reads, “For the next year, this bill provides the amount of $6,660,000,000 for the provision of puberty blockers to minors, minors being defined here as those who identify as being under the age of 18 years old. To qualify for the puberty blockers, the self-identifying minor needs only to show up at any hospital, clinic, or other medical facility and request a Section B3H medical waiver, at which point the puberty blockers shall be provided to them for as long as deemed appropriate by Admiral Levine’s office. Neither parental consent nor a doctor’s note is necessary, only proof that the puberty blockers will not cause an allergic reaction is required.”
Team Biden responded to the revelation that the bill provides free puberty blockers to kids without the consent of their parents by calling any criticism of the provision “problematic, homophobic, and transphobic,” with Kamala Harris giving a speech in which she claimed that the bill would provide “life-saving and gender-affirming care” to “at risk transgender youths” and that those who were against the provision were “essentially saying that trans kids should die.”
She did not elaborate on how the bill would save lives nor comment on who would determine whether the puberty blockers were really “gender-affirming,” but did break into a particularly ill-timed cackle that made everyone in the room quite uncomfortable.
The FBI also stepped in to defend the bill and its provision, releasing a new “domestic terror update” that claimed anyone who attacks the “gender-affirming puberty blockers” provision, Admiral Rachel Levine, or the government’s current stance on transgender care was a “potential domestic terrorist” whose guns should be seized with red flag laws and who should “probably be locked up” to protect the public safety. The FBI is reportedly using data from Twitter and Facebook and search history data from Bing, Yahoo, and Google to determine who has attacked the bill or Admiral Levine.