NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was yet another day of disaster for President Slow Joe Biden, this time with him attempting to give a speech but ending on a highly embarrassing note, reading off the teleprompter in an endless string of gaffes as his staffers tried to get him to stop reading, forcing “Dr.” Jill to pry him away from the podium and off the stage to the jeers of many members of the media.
What happened was that Biden was giving a speech on the oil situation and, upon reaching the end of the speech and saying “and that’s why driving wood-powered cars wouldn’t be so bad, Jack!” just continued reading off of the teleprompter despite all of the lines his staff typed into it in an attempt to get him to stop.
And so, after the line about wood-powered cars, cars that are being ridiculously floated by his administration as an opportunity to avoid the gas price crisis, Joe said:
“YOU will stop reading!
“No, not in the speech. You, Joe. You will stop reading off of the teleprompter and start walking away.
“NO, STOP READING this out loud. Just stop talking and leave.
“Please, please think about what you’re saying. Stop reading this!”
The members of the media present, though full of leftists that were on the president’s side, had a hard time containing their laughter, with many giggling uncontrollably as Biden kept messing up and reading things that he shouldn’t have been reading, quite literally saying the quiet part out loud.
What made it worse was that no one came up on the stage to tell him what to do and lead him away, so he just stood there and kept reading off the instructions his staffers were furiously typing into the teleprompter and yelling when they put words in all caps.
It then got even worse when they just stopped typing in the hope that that would get him to stop because there wouldn’t be anything for him to read out loud. It didn’t work.
Instead, Joe just improvised and started telling stories from his youth, discussing how he managed to defeat Cornpop, who he described as a “bad dude” by threatening him with a link of chain.
Following that, Jill Biden, fed up with her husband’s antics, stormed up on stage, grabbed him by the arm, and dragged him off stage while telling him that there was warm bowl of oatmeal in the Oval Office for him to eat if he went willingly.
That was more than enough for Joe, who happily went along with it and wandered away at Jill’s behest.
The White House later edited out all of the gaffes from the transcript of his speech, saying that the comments were due to a “teleprompter error” and thus not relevant to the point he was trying to make in his speech.