NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
It was another bad day to Biden, this time thanks to his utter inability to hold his tongue when the crowd to which he was speaking expressed some degree of down that his economic plans, which he calls “Bidenomics,” will show any degree of success in turning the economy around.
He said, when trying to convince the gathered few dozen people who could be scraped up to listen, that his plans would be wonderful whereas the dastardly Republicans wanted to steal the very bread out of the mouths of their children. He said:
Earlier this year, the President and Congressional leaders reached a bipartisan budget agreement that averted a first-ever default and protected our historic economic progress. The President, House Democrats, Senate Democrats, and Senate Republicans all stand by this promise. Unfortunately, Speaker McCarthy and House Republicans are ignoring the bipartisan budget agreement they passed and instead advancing extreme, partisan appropriations bills that break their public promise and gut key investments in the American people.
House Republicans claim these cuts are about fiscal responsibility—but they aren’t. Not only would their bills add at least $100 billion to deficits over 10 years by making it easier for the wealthy and big corporations to cheat on their taxes, but House Republicans are separately pushing corporate tax giveaways that would cost over $500 billion if made permanent—including at least $30 billion in retroactive tax breaks for investments companies made last year. These retroactive tax cuts alone would erase the savings from their deep cuts to education, health, and labor programs.
Today, the Office of Management and Budget released 51 fact sheets highlighting the devastating impacts of these extreme cuts on states and the District of Columbia. Now I will read some of the most harmful elements of House Republicans’ appropriations bills that they will begin to consider this week.
That’s when a somewhat intoxicated member of the crowd yelled out, “What? They’re terrible because their policies lead to low gas prices, cheap food, a rising stock market, and my job being stable? That’s what it was like under Trump! Now I lost my job because inflation forced them to make cuts, I can’t find work because everyone is terrified of recession, and this utter disaster that is your administration isn’t doing a darn thing about it!”
The man then stormed off as Secret Service agents surrounded him and tried dragging him away by the elbows, much to his protestations and the horror of the small crowd,
Biden, instead of smiling awkwardly and moving on, decided to yell at and mock the unfortunate man. “You’re not broke, Bidenomics is working! I saved this country and you’re just here as a lying, dog-faced pony soldier sent by the orange man to make me look bad! Well, Jack, it won’t work and I’ll make damn sure you ain’t ever gonna get a job again,” Biden yelled.