NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Biden and his Administration have so far tried to strike a balanced line with Israel, both supporting it and its war effort to appease the all-powerful Israel Lobby, but also not going too hard on Palestine so as to avoid alienating the hard left.
That approach apparently reached a breaking point on Wednesday morning, as the Biden Administration announced that it would be providing aid to Hamas-controlled Palestinians in Gaza…in the midst of a massive war between Hamas and Israel. Such is what Biden announced in a press statement, saying:
President Biden announced today that the United States is providing $100 million in humanitarian assistance for the Palestinian people in Gaza and the West Bank. This funding will help support over a million displaced and conflict-affected people with clean water, food, hygiene support, medical care, and other essential needs. The United States provides humanitarian assistance through trusted partners including UN agencies and international NGOs.
Civilians are not to blame and should not suffer for Hamas’s horrific terrorism. Civilian lives must be protected and assistance must urgently reach those in need. We will continue to work closely with partners in the region to stress the importance of upholding the law of war, supporting those who are trying to get to safety or provide assistance, and facilitating access to food, water, medical care, and shelter.
The statement went on to add that “this aid to Palestine will certainly not be used by Hamas to buy weapons, just as the $6 billion we provided to Iran shortly before this attack was in no way used by that regime to subsequently launch a massive attack on Gaza. Instead it will just be used for humanitarian purposes. Things like food and water, gas for generators and hospital supplies.” Ignored there is that money is fungible, so money that doesn’t have to be spent on food can be spent on weapons, or the provision of food itself means that focus can instead be spent on obtaining those weapons.
But what was far, far more surprising than the Biden Administration being idiotic is the huge shift in its stance toward Israel, a country that is usually backed full stop by the Democrats and Republicans alike. Turns out, that massive shift is thanks to Rashida Tlaib, who browbeat Biden into changing US policy in the region.
To do so, she created a slew of mock advertisements that paint Biden as a “racist,” using his old words against him. Given that Biden has been around for decades, over which time views have shifted dramatically, there was a lot she had to use against him.
Already worried about 2024 and not wanting to deal with the situation anyway, as it’s cutting into his nap time, Biden decided to play along and provide the Palestine aid so that the “mean woman,” as he reportedly calls her, would promise to go away and not run the ads.