NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.
Things got awkward during yet another one of Biden’s ridiculous speeches about how horrible his political enemies are, a speech during which he went on a long, rambling tear about how all of “his” F-15s and “those other flyboy planes” would “blow insurrectionists into…you know, the thing,” by which he probably meant that the Air Force’s array of sophisticated, ground attack capable planes could decimate anyone who dared revolt against his regime.
Perhaps that’s true, as air power can prove devastating to unprepared and unprotected ground forces, as we saw when Trump’s gloves-off bombing campaign decimated ISIS (however, even in that case, ground forces were needed to take and hold territory in bloody battles, such as the protracted fight for Mosul).
But neither that example nor the example of the 100 day pre-Desert Storm air campaign against Saddam’s forces, perhaps the two best examples out there of air power being used to destroy a ground force, were used by President Biden.
Instead, he decided to declare that “his” planes would destroy the “insurrectionists” like the Air Force had “destroyed the Taliban.”
The problem with that? Well, the Taliban won…under his watch…despite decades of fighting and trillions of dollars spent on the war…after the Soviets had done the exact same thing and left the progenitors of the Taliban with a bloody nose but victorious. So, in the example that Brandon gave, the military and its jets couldn’t even defeat a force of a few thousand former goat-herders and tribal villagers stuck in the dark ages…after fighting for two decades…after a civil war fought against other militants…after a decade-long fight against the Soviets that killed over a million of their countrymen.
Meanwhile, over 70 million Americans voted for Donald Trump. If even 10% were to decide enough is enough, they’d far outnumber those goat herders that Biden lost to in humiliating fashion, and they’d have better equipment, and the supply chains for Biden’s “flyboy planes” and their munitions would be at risk. So that fight would probably go even worse than his tussle with the Taliban did.
Biden’s advisors went on to defend his comments, however, with John Kirby speaking to reporters and saying that the fight against the Taliban had been a “massive success” because “women and homosexuals in Afghanistan experienced years of safety and freedom.” He didn’t comment on whether the Taliban has been so accommodating of “alternative lifestyles” after it gave Brandon’s planes the boot about a year ago.
Biden, meanwhile, has continued to rant and rave about “MAGA Republicans,” vowing to use ever-harsher measures to bring “insurrectionists and wreckers” into line, edging dangerously close to plagiarizing Stalin again. Oops. Maybe his planes can bomb those that point out he’s stealing his speeches from one of history’s most notorious dictators.