Author: clayton

*Note: This Article Is Satire* In a bold move hailed as “the only way to save democracy,” Democrats have unveiled a comprehensive plan that experts are calling “beautifully tyrannical.” The strategy includes jailing former President Trump, stacking the Supreme Court with staunch marxists, ending the Electoral College, and censoring any speech that doesn’t praise the plan as “the best thing since sliced bread.” “Yeah, we know Trump is popular, but he is super mean on the internet, you know? We just can’t allow that. It’s much easier to just ban him from the ballot and jail him,” said one Democrat…

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In a groundbreaking revelation that has sent shockwaves through high schools and TikTok circles nationwide, the nation’s teenagers were left utterly flabbergasted to learn that the ancient constitutional relic known as ‘Free Speech’ actually permits individuals to harbor and express opinions that may not align with their own. This discovery has led to an epidemic of confusion, with many young citizens questioning the very fabric of reality. “I just can’t even,” stated Madison, a local high school influencer and part-time social justice warrior. “I thought free speech was just for supporting my views on veganism and cancelling people who still…

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