NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre tried to boost the Biden Administration’s popularity among Americans on Thursday by claiming, during a speech, that “Bidenomics” policies are “making a difference” for Americans, a comment that drew outrage from the locals who had gathered to listen because of the backbreaking inflation they’ve suffered thanks to Biden. She began by giving the usual rigamarole about how wonderful and helpful everything that Team Biden has done is, saying: One year ago, on August 16, 2022, President Biden signed…
Author: will
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. During Hurricane Katrina, an absolute debacle made far worse by the George W. Bush Administration’s terrible and incompetent response to it, Kanye West infamously went on TV and declared, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people.” It wasn’t necessarily true, nor was Kanye’s delivery very good, but it instantly went viral (for the time) because of how deadpan Kanye was when he said it and how uncomfortable it made the TV personalities around him at the time. Plus, with Iraq going terribly, everyone was looking…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Team Biden recently tried to justify its decision to send tens of billions of dollars more to the Ukrainians than to Hawaii in a press briefing, arguing that the Ukrainian war effort is more important than the fate and well-being of Americans because the Ukrainians once paid Hunter Biden a lot of money. Beginning, KJP argued that the Brandon Administration is doing plenty to help out the Hawaiians who have seen their homes and communities torched by the blaze, saying: The Biden-Harris Administration has mobilized…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden tried giving a speech on Bidenomics while addressing a crowd in Pennsylvania but, predictably, the speech went off the rails when Biden tried improvising. Beginning, Biden tried to give a Democratic Socialist style speech about “equity” and sharing prosperity, saying: President Biden’s economic vision—Bidenomics—is about building the economy from the middle out and the bottom up. It starts with recognizing that in recent decades, the U.S. economy has seen rising inequality, mounting costs from climate change, and economic shocks like the pandemic…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Team Biden is now, with the allegations surrounding Hunter Biden and Joe Biden taking cash from China swirling, trying to appear “tough” on Red China. Recently it did so with a call on how it aims to keep China from stealing American technology and keep our military secrets safe. That ended poorly, as a comment about keeping China out of our tech secrets was interpreted as “racist” by the DEI commissar on the call. That senior administration official began quite reasonably, describing why it’s important…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Vice President Kamala Harris tried rallying union support for Joe Biden’s regime by praising and highlighting his administration’s investment in infrastructure, though that fell apart and turned into a speech on smoking illegal narcotics when she got distracted and started rambling with what she thought the crowd wanted to hear. The speech began, as is usual with her, with utter nonsense and rambling about tenuously connected topics that are meant, more than anything, to make her look like a more “victimized” person and so more…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was yet another terrible day for Brandon’s regime, this time thanks to the president himself, who let slip what Hunter’s corrupt backers had bought when they paid him millions for influence with his dad: tens of thousands of acres of pristine Hawaiian real estate. Biden let that little detail, one sure to be used by Congressional Republicans in an impeachment proceeding against him, slip during a speech that was supposed to be on why he’s stopping the development of land or utilization of ocean…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden again tried to rally support for his “Bidenomics” economic strategy, which mostly appears to be an attempt to transfer what money remains in the hands of the middle class to the megacorps and their financiers through raising prices, which in turn increase profits of large companies and thus boost stock prices as the middle class struggles to pay its bills and the lower class is subsidized by their tax dollars. This time he tried to do so in a statement on how the “CHIPS”…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala Harris just handed out millions of dollars to crack dealers across the country in an “underserved entrepreneurs” event. Announcing the program, she said: Today, Vice President Kamala Harris will announce the 43 winners of the $125 million American Rescue Plan-funded Capital Readiness Program (CRP) awards competition, critical funding that will help underserved entrepreneurs launch and scale their small businesses—a key pillar of Bidenomics. The CRP is the latest American Rescue Plan investment in navigation and support services for small businesses, building upon the $300…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala was back to traveling around the country trying to make things seem like they are going well, or at least better than they really are, when she decided to visit Wisconsin and pretend that the Biden Administration is actually helping American manufacturing. Announcing her visit shortly before it occurred, she said: Today in Wisconsin, Vice President Kamala Harris will visit Nokia and Sanmina Corporation in Pleasant Prairie, Kenosha County, Wisconsin to highlight the Biden-Harris Administration’s efforts to invest in high-speed internet, boost domestic manufacturing,…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Fitch Ratings, a bond rating firm, downgraded the US national debt on August 1st, saying, “The rating downgrade of the United States reflects the expected fiscal deterioration over the next three years, a high and growing general government debt burden, and the erosion of governance relative to ‘AA’ and ‘AAA’ rated peers over the last two decades that has manifested in repeated debt limit standoffs and last-minute resolutions.” Continuing, it added, “In Fitch’s view, there has been a steady deterioration in standards of governance over…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden decided to ramble at yet another speech about “Bidenomics,” which to him means “wonderful economy,” but to normal Americans struggling to pay their bills means “backbreaking inflation, globalization, and a terrible labor market, not to mention shortages at every store.” In the speech, Biden first patted himself on the back for how well he is doing before ending up saying the quiet part out loud and talking about how he wants people to buy more Chinese goods. Beginning it, he said: And thanks to…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was another day of nonsense and incompetence over at the Biden White House, this time thanks to its utterly incompetent (or CCP-compromised) cybersecurity team…which found itself unable to prevent a page on cybersecurity from getting hacked. The page, posted as a press briefing to the White House Briefing Room, originally patted the Biden Administration on the back for its supposed good work in fighting for cybersecurity, something that proved to be very unearned praise. In any case, the page originally said: Today, the Biden-Harris…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was yet more nonsense dorm the Biden White House on Thursday, this day with its decision to blame “MAGA” Republicans for “extreme heat” in a statement about the summer weather now that early summer is over and the late July and August heat waves have begun. Beginning the statement, the Biden White House said, “We understand that MAGA Republicans, the extreme enemies of science that doubt climate change is happening, are the ones responsible for all this hot weather we now see. Temperatures, in…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The Biden White House and Pentagon met with the Ukrainians again and, as is now normal, pledged to hand over massive numbers of weapons and amounts of cash to the Ukrainians. The White House announced the meeting in a press release document, saying: On July 25th, the fifth meeting of the Steering Committee of the Multi-agency Donor Coordination Platform for Ukraine was co-chaired in a virtual format by Deputy National Security Advisor for International Economics Mike Pyle, Deputy Prime Minister for Restoration of Ukraine Oleksandr…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such, It was the usual nonsense from President Slow Joe Biden when, on Tuesday, he gave a rambling explanation for why America “needs” to pay for Hunter Biden’s addiction treatment, saying that paying for crack addicts to smoke more crack is “just common sense.” Beginning the speech was a long ramble about a woman named “Debbie” who wasn’t actually there, a long complaint about insurance prices that left out Obamacare increasing premiums by an average of 330 percent, and a bit of word salad about mental…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala Harris recently appeared for a campaign reception in what was yet another terrible idea for the Biden regime, as she obviously had no real idea what was going on and was instead just incoherently and non-sensically rambling about nonsense. That is, it was a normal Kamala word salad speech about nothing of note until she accidentally let slip a detail about China and who is benefitting from Brandon’s infrastructure spending bill, which is China. Beginning the inane, word salad rambling, she said: You know,…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Ron DeSantis and the politicians in charge of the Florida education system recently updated the curriculum for young kids, making it so that they learn the positive aspects of American history rather than a slew of lies about random nonsense, namely the “evil” of the Founding Fathers. Predictably, Kamala Harris was furious about that. Speaking to a crowd of people who somehow made it through her ear-shredding cackles, Kamala said: I am a product of teachers and an educational system that believed in providing the…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden again attempted to speak about his so-called “Bidenomics” economic policies during a Thursday speech in Pennsylvania, telling the crowd that, whatever their lying eyes might see, everything in America is really going wonderfully. He then, as could be predicted, said too much and noted his deep involvement with China. It began with the typical sort of anti-capitalism, hard to follow rant that Biden is known for with his speeches on economics and the economy, saying: I’m here today to talk about what we’re…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Slow Joe Biden is desperately trying to boost his economics strategy, called “Bidenomics,” by claiming that it’s a massive success. “Don’t believe your lying eyes,” he and his administration basically say, “despite what the racist Republicans say about jobs and the economy, everything is awesome.” Such is what Biden tried to say in a recent speech on made in America products meant to highlight all the “good work” his administration has done in restoring the American industrial base, particularly as regards “clean energy.” He…