Author: will

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Venezuela is holding Americans hostage right now, presumably to get leverage over the US in its dispute with Guyana and Exxon over a recently found, massive oil field. Biden decided to “negotiate” for their release using the same tactics he used to get hostages home from Iran…which is to pay more than a billion dollars per person for them. Beginning his statement on the matter, he said: Today, ten Americans who have been detained in Venezuela have been released and are coming home, including all…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Biden was once again tasked with speaking and it was once again a disaster, this time with the senile Commander in Chief rambling about how great inflation is because it “makes the profit number go up,” ignoring that that’s only nominal profit, not real profit, and that the inflation-adjusted number is down because of the Bidenflation disaster. Beginning, he said: I want to thank everyone here at Milwaukee’s Black Chamber of Commerce for your partnership across the board on everything we’ve been working on.  I…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden recently gave a speech on Sandra Day O’Connor and, as could be expected, it ended in a painful disaster for his administration when he got off of script and started rambling about former President Donald Trump. Beginning the speech, Biden said: To the O’Connor family, my wife Jill and I send our love on behalf of a truly grateful nation for her service. I’m humbled to be asked to speak today. To the members of the clergy, the Chief Justice, Justices of the…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  The Biden Administration decided this week to celebrate the creation of a federal “law enforcement misconduct” database to track what law enforcement officers are up to, as if police overeagerness to stop crime is the issue at a time when the devastating toll of crime is ruining America’s cities. In any case, Team Biden’s support for the database meant that Kamala Harris, a former prosecutor known for locking up random people for low level drug offenses, was sent to give a speech on the database…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Biden recently gave a speech on lower drug prices. Meant to be about prescription drugs and high-cost pharmaceuticals, like insulin, it ended up being about his son Hunter’s struggle with drug addiction when Biden went off on one of his gaffe stories. The speech began ok, with Biden saying: You know, we’re here at a pharmacy today at the National Institutes of Health to talk about my administration’s work to crack down on price-gouging, to lower prescription drug costs, to put money back in the…

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NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of  fact. Treat it as such. Biden just gave a speech for “Bill of Rights Day” and, during it, attacked the Bill of Rights. Specifically, he attacked the First and Second Amendments, both of which he said were “racist” and need to be “amended” to be made to fit with modern opinions. Beginning his speech, he said: The freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights — the freedoms of religion, speech, press, assembly, privacy, and more — have helped define who we are as a people and served as our Nation’s…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden just gave a speech on climate change and how his administration is fighting that phantom menace, with the president bizarrely claiming during the meeting that climate change was the spark that started hurricanes, though he didn’t explain what science shows that to be the case or how storms started before “pollution.” In any case, he said, during the speech: Eight years ago, the world came together in Paris to announce a historic commitment to address climate change and protect the planet for future generations.…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Team Biden has moved forward with its Infrastructure Bill in recent years, or so it claims, but many Americans are confused as to why the conditions of America’s roads and bridges seem to be declining daily despite the trillions that the government claims to be spending on building up America’s infrastructure. Why is that? Well, because rather than building bridges and roads, the powers that be are tearing down existing ones that Mayor Pete and his coterie of crazies have determined are “racist.” Such is…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Uganda recently decided to change its laws regarding homosexuality to make it somewhat more illegal, particularly in certain situations. Predictably, the United States freaked out and harshly condemned the law, saying that what a nation in central Africa decides to do regarding LGBTQ+ rights is the most important thing going on right now. In fact, the Biden Administration even released a statement on the matter, attacking the policy and vowing to change US policy toward Uganda and its government if it doesn’t change law. It…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was another awkward day for Biden, this time thanks to a meeting he had with “Black male economic empowerment advocates,” during which he went horribly off script and ended up infuriating the people with whom he was meeting by referencing his son’s crack addiction and run ins with the law. That’s not what one would have gotten from the press release that Team Biden put out on the matter, however. In its short statement on how things went for Team Biden at the meeting,…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  It was another rough day for the Biden Administration, this time thanks to an awkward exchange between a Biden Administration economic official and an angry member of the crowd during a recent speech, with the Biden official claiming that everything is going great and things are improving for the middle class…then getting humiliated when an audience member asked about Hunter Biden’s sketchy business activities abroad. Beginning, the Biden official first commented on the general malaise in America and claimed that the Biden Administration is taking…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Team Biden met with Native American groups for a photo op under the guise of some new treaty and investment plan, one which will never pan out to much other than grift and corruption, but the ceremony went from the usual sort of boring nothingness to anger and awkwardness when Joe got off the teleprompter script. Beginning, he said: And thanks for — thanks for all the Tribal leaders here. I want to say how much I appreciate your efforts for being here. You know,…

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NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Some doofus in the Biden Administration decided that letting Vice President Kamala Harris talk about the situation in Israel would be a good idea, so she did so…with predictably disastrous results, saying that the Biden Administration has refused to back either side wholeheartedly because it doesn’t know which interest group to back. That came during here speech on the matter and calls she had with world leaders, during which she started off strong with a defense of Israel then gradually drifted into siding with the…

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NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It’s “Venezuelan Diaspora Day,” for whatever reason, and so the Biden Administration has been on the forefront of cheering the number of Venezuelan migrants who have flocked to America’s shores in recent years, claiming that their doing so is a great success for America and can only lead to more and more good things. That speech went awry when Biden was asked about recent news of Venezuelans robbing American retail locations. Such happened when Biden gave a speech on the “Venezuelan Diaspora” and how wonderful…

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NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. What’s going on in the White House? Well, Dr. Jill bundled up Biden in too many layers of sweaters and jackets yesterday, much like the younger brother in “A Christmas Story,” and Biden got hot. But instead of just taking off his topcoat, the senile president assumed that he was sweating because of  “climate change.” So now the Biden Administration is going all in on “fighting the hot weather.” Such is what Biden said in a bizarre speech in which he complained about the weather…

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NOTE: The Following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Sure as rain, when something tragic happens, President Slow Joe Biden claims that his son Beau, who died of brain cancer unrelated to his military service in the Navy, died of that tragedy. Such was the case yet again recently,  with Biden issuing a statement on what the administration is doing to combat AIDS and claiming in it that Beau died of AIDS. On this 35th commemoration of World AIDS Day, we remember those we have lost to HIV/AIDS and commit to accelerating our efforts…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Team Biden recently announced that a National Security Advisor to Team Biden had visited Guatemala to ramble about whatever it is that Team Biden is up to, and in the announcement made the visit sound like a success. Later reports indicated that it was quite awkward and went poorly after Hunter Biden’s cocaine habit was brought up, however. The press release said: National Security Advisor to the Vice President Dr. Philip Gordon and a delegation of high-level U.S. officials, including USAID Deputy Administrator Isobel Coleman,…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Kamala Harris again went on a nearly nonsensical ramble, this time about the state of “democracy” in the world and why she thinks it needs to be defended…a speech that was predictably full of her usual rambling and nonsense. She began by saying: So, there’s a lot to talk about, but let’s start with this. And I think it’s part of the theme of the evening. We love our country. We love our country. And there is so much about this moment and, certainly, the…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Another day, another disaster for the Biden Administration when it let Biden talk. This time that came thanks to Biden making an admission about the state of the economy during a speech on infrastructure and how it is helping build up the American economy. Rather than that going well, however, Biden instead rambled a bit about conversation he clearly didn’t have in the past, but claimed to have had, then went on to explain what is really going on that makes ok-seeming data far worse…

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NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Hamas and Israel recently struck a deal to release some hostages and Team Biden immediately claimed it as a success of their foreign policy, despite no real evidence that they did anything other than a showy and expensive trip to the region that was mainly notable for how old and out of it Biden looked. In any case, both Joe and Kamala spoke about the matter, with Joe keeping it short and sweet at the behest of his handlers while Kamala did her usual thing…

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