Author: will

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  The White House recently decided to push its gun control agenda by bringing police officers in to clutch their pearls and moan about how terrible gun rights are, saying that they are outgunned by criminals and so need gun control, ignoring that generally those who shooting at them generally aren’t allowed to own guns in the first place because of prior felonies. In any case, the White House patted itself on the back for the video in a statement, saying: Today, senior White House officials…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. With Hunter Biden finally somewhat out of the news thanks to the cocaine in the West Wing story finally dying down, Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre decided to kick the press briefing off by attacking Republicans for not being willing to hand over the military to outright communists and then for lauding the Biden Administration’s response to cybersecurity…at which point the briefing was hacked. KJP, droning on and on about their cybersecurity plans and how they plan to keep Americans safe from hackers, said: And…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Speaking at a recent event about “climate change” and “environmental justice,” Vice President Kamala Harris did her usual thing and went on the warpath against…using real words or sentence structures. Instead she rambled about nonsense before rambling about incoherent nonsense. It began with the usual sort of nonsense, with Kamala talking about Baltimore in positive terms, which is rarer than her completing a sentence. She said: “So I stand here before you, as Vice President of the United States, proud to make the announcements we…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Vice President Kamala Harris just decided that now, of all times, is the time for another one of her infamous word salads and went ahead and spoke it, this time about student debt, which she insisted people should not have to pay despite having taken out the gargantuan loans. She said, beginning the word salad statement: President Joe Biden and I are committed to delivering relief to student loan debt borrowers to help them move forward with their lives – whether they want to start…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden did his usual thing and said far, far too much in a recent speech about NATO in Lithuania, during which he announced that NATO hates Russia because the Russians are too harsh toward homosexuals. That began with Biden rambling about how great it is that NATO has stuck together in dealing with the Russian invasion of Ukraine, saying: Now, over the last few days, as President of the United States, I had the honor of participating in a historic NATO Summit hosted by Lithuania,…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden was asked about the situation in Ukraine during a poorly planned and even more poorly executed press conference in Lithuania, during which he ended up joking about Ukrainian President Zelensky’s long-suspected cocaine habit to horrified reporters and furious NATO officials. It began, when Biden was asked about the general situation in NATO and how the conversations between it and Zelensky went, with him mumbling and then trailing off, saying: “It went very well, and I think he’d tell you that.  We spent about an…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. “Dr.” Jill Biden appeared at the Global First Ladies Academy for a speech and, during it, rambled about nonsense for a bit and then berated the crowd for not thinking of her as a proper doctor. At first, she did the usual thing for people of her stripe and feigned pleasantness and niceness while really acting like a jerk, saying: “Hello, everyone! It’s wonderful to see all of you.Thank you, First Lady Geingos—Monica. I’m grateful to Dean Fried and Columbia University Mailman School of Public Health…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Another day, another embarrassing Biden gaffe. This time that took place in Finland, where Biden appeared for a speech with the Finnish President and ended up humiliating himself by making a comment about Hunter Biden that many think indicates Hunter is at fault for the cocaine found in the White House. Beginning, he mumbled and rambled his way through a long speech on NATO and Finnish participation in it, saying: No, I mean it sincerely, because we had — we launched your ratification process —…

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such, President Joe Biden recently announced that insurance is the new thing his administration is going to focus on, saying, “Today, President Biden announced a series of new actions under a core pillar of his “Bidenomics” agenda to lower health care costs and crack down on surprise junk fees for American families and consumers. Since the beginning of his Administration, President Biden has passed historic legislation to lower health care costs for tens of millions of Americans, took on Big Pharma to finally allow Medicare to…

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala had another horrible day on Wednesday. That was when she returned home to Los Angeles and tried playing buddy buddy with the local firefighters, much to their chagrin and her embarrassment. It started with her rambling about some random connection she has to firefighters and then uttering vague generalities in support of first responders, saying: Well, good morning to all of you. And Happy Fourth. It was so important to us to be able to, as a symbol of the gratitude we have for…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden gave a speech on “gun violence” on Independence Day, a bizarre attack on liberty on the day which is supposed to be used to celebrate it. Embarrassingly, he got confused during the speech and started attacking Hunter Biden, forgetting that Hunter is his son. The speech began with the usual sort of drivel that pro-gun control politicians push out to attack liberty, with the president saying: Over the last few days, our nation has once again endured a wave of tragic and…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. “Dr.” Jill Biden gave a short Independence Day speech to service members and their families on July 4th, 2023. It was supposed to be a short little thing that would lead to a good photo op and one or two quotations to post on Twitter in an attempt to rehabilitate the Administration’s image. That didn’t work. Jill began with the usual sort of ramblings that come from politicians who never served in the armed forces but want to pretend that they identify with people in…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden’s office recently tried to have Biden give a short and to the point pro-firefighter statement on National Wildland Firefighter Day, but things went wrong when Biden tried improvising and ended up admitting that Hunter started a forest fire with his crack pipe. He began by giving the usual sort of statement on firefighters and national service, saying: Today, on National Wildland Firefighter Day, I join Americans across the country in expressing deep gratitude for our wildland firefighters and support personnel who heroically…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was yet another embarrassing “wires crossed” moment for our senile president when, on Thursday, he tried giving an address at the funeral of a dead senator he used to work with and then tried to, when he got confused, fist fight with the dead senator’s widow. What appears to have happened is Biden was mindlessly reading his script on the matter when he got to the word fight. That woke up some part of his brain and he decided that that was the time…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden was absolutely furious with yesterday’s Supreme Court decision to end affirmative action, saying that the idea of merit-based admissions would be disastrous for America’s black population. In a short speech he gave on the situation, he first said: Forty-five years — for forty-five years, the United States Supreme Court has recognized a college’s freedom to decide how — how to build diverse student bodies and to meet their responsibility of opening doors of opportunity for every single American. In case after case, including…

Note: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden and his team recently announced their new “counterterrorism” strategy for 2023, in which it called for the arrest of any and every Republican who’s not openly anti-Trump and pro-Biden in the name of “democracy.” It began with a long ramble about “our democracy” the “freedom to abort babies,” and watch pornography, labeling everyone who doesn’t enjoy drugs and abortion a “domestic terrorist.” Beginning, it said: Two years ago this month, the Biden-Harris Administration released the first-ever National Strategy for Countering Domestic Terrorism. Since the…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. During a recent speech on the campaign trail in which he claimed go be a big supporter of Israel amidst his administration’s boycott of Israeli businesses due to unpleasantness in Gaza, Biden first tried to pass himself off as a big supporter of the state. He said: And, you know, one of the interesting things is that he used to talk about how it was impossible for the Israelis to — excuse me — the Germans not to know what was going on. And so,…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden recently decided to speak about his “Bidenomics” policy at a meeting in St. Louis, in which he decided to tell a gathered crowd of mainly out of work, homeless people that his economic strategy of shutting down businesses with excessive regulation was “working” at “improving equality” in America by leading to ESG-focused firms making “smart investments” in drug-addict owned businesses. He said, in part: Today, the U.S. has had the highest economic growth among the world’s leading economies since the pandemic. We’ve…

Note: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such, The Biden Administration announced this week that President Biden’s advisors met with representatives from a woke NGO called the “Poor People’s Campaign,” a group that claims to help poor people but really just takes money out of the pockets of rich, guilty-feeling donors and drops it in the pockets of schemers. In any case, the Biden Administration made the meeting sound like a success and like the group was happy, which is patently false. In any case, here’s what the White House said: This week,…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala, during a recent speech, bizarrely decided to, bizarrely, try to connect abortion and gay rights to the American Founding…at which time both murder and sodomy were very illegal and had been hanging offenses in Britain, and then claim that anyone who is opposed to killing kids is racist and anti-abortion. She led with the American Revolution claim, using the vague concept of “freedom” to try and connect infanticide to the Christian Founding Fathers. Speaking on that, she said: America is a promise — a…