Pennsylvania Voters Disappointed to Learn that Dr. Oz Isn’t “The Wizard from that Movie,” But Rather Their Senator

“Cocaine Orgy Lobby” Behind Cawthorne’s NC Defeat: Report

After Recent Press Secretary Disaster, Joe Biden Begs Psaki to Return

BREAKING: Trump Returns to Twitter Only to Mock Jeb! Bush, Leaves after Making Hilarious Jokes

Statistician Finds Positive Correlation Between Size of Security Detail, Belief that Guns for Self-Defense Aren’t Necessary

Dog Breeder Faces Serious Problems After Refusing to Recognize Difference between Male, Female Dogs

BLM Claims Newest Mansion Purchase Necessary for “High Living Equity”, Citing Mugabe and Idi Amin as Role Models

WHOOPS: CNN Realizes It Accidentally Criticized Biden, Woke Employees Led By Brian Stelter Go on Strike

FBI Caught Teaching China, North Korea, How to Frame Dissidents for Crimes

YIKES: Hunter Furious, Demands WebMD be Censored After It Describes Crack Addiction as “Not a Healthy Lifestyle”

Helpful Connections: Biden Relying on Hunter’s Chinese Friends for Help Setting Up the Ministry of Truth

“It Wasn’t Heroin, It was PCP, Angel Dust!” Biden’s Disinformation Board Gets in Censorship Squabble with Fox News

CREEPY: Bill Gates Caught on Tape Admitting Baby Formula Shortage is a “Backup for Abortion”

YIKES: Secreat Service Furious, Biden Embarrassed After He Gets Lost In White House…Again

GOP Lawmakers Blast Disney for “How to Trans Yourself Without Your Parents Knowing” Kids’ Cartoon

Congress Votes to Send All US Tax Revenue to Random Foreign Countries, Spend Nothing In America

Embarrassing: Psaki Has to “Circle Back” to White House after NBC Gig Doesn’t Work Out

Biden Blames Inflation on Hunter’s Painting-Funded Spending Spree

Taliban Condemns US in UN for Allowing “Abhorrent” Sex Crimes Against Children, “Reprehensible” Genital Mutilation Practices

Fauci Furious Over Paucity of TV Program Appearances, Demands Stations Start Bringing Him on Again