Biden Starts “Scoops for Scoops” Journalist Outreach Program Where He Leaks Details for Free Ice Cream

Brandon Buys EV Presidential Limo…It Can Only Go 7 Miles before Needing to Recharge

Biden Declares “We Gotta Stop this Brandon Guy” after Ice Cream Inflation Hits Critical Level

OOPS: Brandon Accidentally Starts “Let’s Go Brandon” Chant In Desperate Attempt to Excite Crowd

YIKES: Brandon Takes a Tumble and Not Found for Hours Because Life Alert Button Was Too Expensive Thanks to Inflation

YIKES: Dem Announce Nuclear War with Russia Will “Stop Inflation” Because “Losing 1/3 of Population is Deflationary”

Biden Shocked to Learn that “Strongest Economy Ever” Somehow On Verge of Massive Crash

LOL: Brandon Attempts to Threaten Saudi Arabia , Gets Laughed Off of Stage by Saudi Princes

YIKES: Analyst Finds List of Countries Hunter Biden Accepted Money from Is Longer Than List of Countries He Hasn’t Been Bribed By

YIKES: Biden Raises Hell after UN Trolls Him by Declaring “Sniffing the Hair of Little Girls” a “Crime Against Humanity”

Brandon Bizarrely Blames Cornpop for Recession, Stock Market Dowturn in Wild Speech to NYSE Traders

“It’s Not Even that Many People”: AOC Stuns When Asked about High Murder Rate in American Cities

Deer Season Off to Rocky Start as Hunters Worry about Misgendering Deer

REPORT: Biden Pardoning Weed Offenses Because Hunter Caught Smoking in White House

Slow Joe Embarrassed after Hunter Caught Buying Crack from North Korean Consulate

REPORT: FBI “Too Busy with Inclusivity Seminars” to Investigate Hunter Biden

“We Can Take on Half the Country in Civil War” Says Woke Military that Lost to Goatherders, Can’t Find Any Recruits

REPORT: Kamala Furious Biden Released All the Weed Offenders She Spent Years Locking Up

Definition of “Fascism” Changed to Fit Liberal Freakout Following Musk’s Twitter Announcement

LOL: Biden Outraged After Hackers Post Video of Hunter Biden with Hookers on White House Twitter Feed