Author: will

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Billionaire financier and investor George Soros was once known for boosting the careers of soft on crime, leftist prosecutors that would let criminals off with a very minor slap on the wrist, if anything, despite their committing horrific crimes and preying on the American populace. Whether it was a position in Houston or Akron, LA or New York, Soros was there, throwing cash behind District Attorney positions, prosecutors, and any other official associated with the court system that he could find, using his wealth to…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Rumors have long swirled that the unmarried, effeminate-sounding, RINO Senator Lindsey Graham is gay. The Charleston City Paper, reporting on 2002-era rumors, for instance, reported that “The comments about Graham are not new, but they haven’t seen this kind of prominence since Graham’s 2002 election to the U.S. Senate. Early in the campaign, state Democratic Party Chair Dick Harpootlian said Graham was “a little too light in the loafers to fill Strom Thurmond’s shoes.” He later said he didn’t know what “too light in the…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Why has former Attorney General Bill Barr turned on Trump and other Republicans like Dinesh D’Souza, who recently released the documentary “2000 Mules”, which is about voter fraud in the 2020 election? Well, it turns out that the reason has nothing to do with ideology, much less what Barr sees the truth about fraud and voter schemes in the 2020 election as being. Rather, Nancy Pelosi just promised to give him as many snacks as he wanted if he showed up for the January 6th…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Why has President Joe Biden, America’s seeming attempt at recreating the reign of Emperor Galba, but with a complete and total hatred of guns, gotten so interested in pushing gun control on the populace all of a sudden? Turns out, it’s not because of the massacres in Uvalde or Buffalo, horrific as those events were. Rather, Biden’s rabid gun control push is an attempt to push back against one American gun owner: Cornpop, his old nemesis from the Delaware pool where he supposedly worked as…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Why did the Uvalde police stand around like cowards and let the children inside an elementary school be massacred by a psycho hell bent on spreading misery and destruction through murder of the most horrific sort? Turns out, if the SWAT commander and a few local, anonymous officers are to be believed, that Bidenflation is to blame. That’s because bullets have gotten so expensive under the current Bidenflation regime that officers aren’t allowed to carry loaded weapons, but rather the station hoards its precious supply…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  Tired of having to pretend to be something they’re not, the agents at the Federal Bureau of Investigation decided to ditch all pretenses and order some Stasi uniforms, fittingly designed by Hugo Boss. Speaking about that decision and what it represented, FBI Director Christopher Wray said: “Well, I know it might look bad, but it’s important to understand that what really matters is authenticity. Here at the FBI we all believe in authenticity and want to make the lived experiences of our agents a reality.…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Furious about the failed assassination attempt on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh (that it failed, not that it happened), Senator Liz Warren decided to take matters into her own gnarled, arthritic hands. Calling upon all the lies she remembered telling when pretending to be a Native American to get her job teaching law, Liz sharpened her tomahawk, donned a headdress, painted her face, and broke out a bottle of Jack Daniels that she started chugging. As Liz smoked a “peace pipe” in her office with…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Furious that ratings of the January 6th Kangaroo Court were doing worse than a rerun of Brian Stelter discussing his favorite types of chili and chili toppings with Rep. Jerry Nadler on “National Chili Day”, AOC and Nancy Pelosi decided to take matters into their own hands by performing a shocking, entirely unexpected strip tease during the middle of the hearings. Texting throughout the kangaroo court’s proceedings, during which Liz Cheney and her friends on the left attempted to paint the right as having launched…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Democrats have so far proven ineffective in their attempts to intimidate the Supreme Court’s conservative majority into voting against Alito’s decision to overturn Roe and return the issue of abortion to the states. Rather, all their threatening protesting outside the homes of those justices has so far done is strengthen their resolve to vote as they see fit rather than in a way that the blue-haired crazies outside their homes want. But that might not be the case for long, as Democrats have reportedly hired…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden, a man who hasn’t been particularly articulate for a long time, has gotten even worse at speaking recently, with his brain seemingly melting every time he needs to mumble out more than a few syllables. The White House has tried everything to fix the problem, from cranking the text size up on the teleprompter “to 11” to giving him stimulants all day before he has to speak. They’ve tried nap times, more coffee, fewer carbs, more exercise, and everything else that could possibly…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In what was seen as a bizarre, likely wrongheaded move by many advertising and public relations experts, Disney hired Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell as an advertising spokeswoman of sorts, meant to fill the same sort of role that child molester Jared Fogle once filled for Subway. She will have to be released from prison first, something that Disney CEO Bob Chapek described as “not an issue” in a speech, indicating that Disney would be happy to take the tax write off that comes with hiring…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Democrats recently cheered when passing a law that bans semi-automatic weapons, magazines that hold more than ten rounds, and any other weapons with “assault rifle”-like features, such as a pistol grip, bayonet lug, or detachable magazine. However, as is now to be expected with the pandemic of incompetence that has roiled America, they wrote the law in a bad way, as it technically made it illegal for their security teams to own weapons such as Glock handguns, personal defense weapons, and even some shotguns, not…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Klaus Schwab recently appeared for a World Economic Forum event in Geneva in which he discussed the continuing need for a “Great Reset,” saying: “Friends, fellows, peasants watching this online, the time is now for a change in how the world treats events, treats economics, treats reality. “For too long we have accepted the ridiculous idea that capitalism works, that money must be sound, that eating beef and potatoes is healthier than eating canola-fried soy chunks or bug-based burger patties. No longer! “No, the time…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The Federal Bureau of Investigation, ever the bagman for leftist claims about what’s really responsible for the bad things that happen, recently published a study that makes some shocking claims about responsibility for terror attacks, in the definition of which it included mass shootings. Discussing those “findings” in its “neutral report on the responsibility for terror attacks”, the FBI had this to say: “Terror attacks, though perhaps sometimes similar on their faces, can be the responsibility of very different people or things.  “For instance, both…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Is Team Biden taking the inflation threat seriously? Yes, in that it wants a way out of the crisis, but unfortunately that means that the brain trust that put us in this situation will be the ones responsible for somehow getting out of it. That’s a problem because they have so far shown no indication that they know how to do so, first claiming that the crisis was “transitory” and now that the crisis has spiraled out of control and certainly isn’t transitory, is instead…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. What should Americans who are worried that leftist gun control proposals do to defend themselves from violent criminals and thugs of the sort that roam free in leftist-controlled cities? According to President Joe Biden, who just gave a widely derided speech in which he tried to defend his gun control proposals, the answer is that they should “just hire private security.” Speaking on that in the Rose Garden while surrounded by dozens of armed men carrying everything from select-fire machine pistols like the MP7 to…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Disney’s decision to support groomer teachers in Florida over Governor Ron DeSantis and his decision to stop them from preaching to 5-year-olds about gay sex and gender transition surgeries makes much more sense now that a new video has surfaced, one that shows a very much not dead Epstein wandering around Disney with CEO Bob Chapek. The video, which was analyzed and verified by the Russian FSB, Hungarian Interior Ministry, Austrian Police Force, and Swiss Military Intelligence, shows pedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein, his girlfriend Ghislaine…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. With the Twitter deal apparently off, or at least on the verge of failing, Tesla and Space X founder and CEO Elon Musk, is apparently looking for new ways to spend his money, as he just offered to buy America and turn it into a functional country again. He made that offer on Twitter, posting, in an uncharacteristically long thread about his plans and his offer, that he planned to “unlock value” in America by “running it like a business, rather than an oligarchy ruled by the most senile…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden was torn to shreds by his liberal colleagues on Monday, many of whom were upset (or, perhaps more realistically, pretending to be upset) about his recent use of the term “crackhead” when describing his son Hunter Biden. As background, Biden, when pressed by reporters when walking to Marine Force One on the White House lawn about recent reports in the Daily Mail that Hunter sent him links to pornographic videos, President Biden said: “Oh, him, Hunter? Don’t need to worry about that…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Tom Cruise’s excellently made, fun to watch, and entirely patriotic Top Gun 2 has taken America’s movie theaters by storm, drawing in audiences of sizes not seen since the last reasonably good summer blockbuster came out in the mid-2010s. One aspect of the movie that has taken all those who have kept up with the dismal performance of the US military in the field, however, is the degree of competence shown. The naval aviators, while not good as “Maverick” at flying their high-tech jets, are…