NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Speaking at the United Nations on Tuesday, Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov exposed the shocking fact that Tucker Carlson’s firing by Fox News was done at the behest of the U.S. government, saying: “Perhaps it would be useful to consider how things are with freedom of speech in the United States. I’ve heard that Tucker Carlson has left Fox News. It’s curious news. What is this related to? One can only guess. But, clearly, the wealth of views in the American information space has suffered…
Author: will
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. During a recent press briefing, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre accused the GOP and Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy of “holding America” hostage by not backing Biden’s “clean air” agenda, saying: President Biden has done more than any prior President to tackle the climate crisis, and today he’s making clear that he’s not done yet. In the Rose Garden this afternoon, with environmental justice leaders and climate advocates, President Biden will sign an executive order making environmental justice part of the DNA of…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Announcing in a White House press statement what is going on in the Sudan and what his Administration is doing to protect the thousands of Americans trapped in the now war-torn country, Biden said: Today, on my orders, the United States military conducted an operation to extract U.S. Government personnel from Khartoum. I am proud of the extraordinary commitment of our Embassy staff, who performed their duties with courage and professionalism and embodied America’s friendship and connection with the people of Sudan. I am grateful…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. When asked about the Biden Administration’s gun control plans during a recent press briefing, KJP did the usual and went ahead with mumbling about nothing, just tossing out platitudes in the hope that would satisfy the liberal press without committing the Biden Regime to any specific action. In her words: So, first, look, we’ll have more to share. But I do want to say that the President looks — very much looks forward to meeting with the three legislators who, as you know, he spoke…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The Biden White House recently announced the successful conclusion of negotiations over joint policy matters between the United States and Columbia, saying: President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. of the United States and President Gustavo Petro Urrego of the Republic of Colombia met today to advance bilateral cooperation on issues of mutual interest, including climate change, clean energy transition, migration, drug trafficking, and peace. We reaffirmed the strategic importance of the U.S.-Colombia partnership based on principles of friendship, mutual respect, cultural ties, and a shared commitment…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. GOP Congressman George Santos, one accused of (and almost certainly guilty of) lying about his past to get elected, just appeared on Newsmax to discuss his reelection campaign, saying: “Look, nobody’s immune to making mistakes in life. I’ve owned up to them. You know, I wish every politician would go on TV and admit when they lie, but they don’t. And with that, they continue to hurt Americans.” Continuing, Santos said, “Look if anything, I’ve hurt myself, right? But my campaign was a campaign with…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The White House recently released a “readout” of President Biden’s call with Senator Chuck Schumer, the Senate Majority Leader, and Rep. Hakeem Jeffries, the House Minority Leader. Filled with the sort of lies one expects from Team Brandon about making the rich pay their “fair share” and Republicans wanting to starve, there wasn’t really all that much of note within it. This afternoon, President Biden spoke with Leaders Schumer and Jeffries by phone about the spring work period. They discussed Congressional Democrats’ efforts to lower…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. All it took was one more 2:30 am Truth Social post from former President Donald Trump for the entire Fox News Channel organization to change its mind and fully back Trump in his claims that the 2020 election was stolen. Trump kicked things off with a post in which he said “IF FOX WOULD FINALLY ADMIT THAT THERE WAS LARGE SCALE CHEATING & IRREGULARITIES IN THE 2020 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION, WHICH WOULD BE A GOOD THING FOR THEM, & FOR AMERICA, THE CASE AGAINST THEM, WHICH…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Lindsey Graham appeared on ABC to attack MTG and other conservatives for supporting the Pentagon leaker who exposed the terrifying depth of US involvement in the Russo-Ukraine War, saying: “Those who are trying to sugarcoat this on the Right… you cannot allow a single individual of the military intelligence community to leak classified information because they disagree with policy. I don’t know what led to this airman’s actions, but he’s done a lot of damage to our standing. “What they’re suggesting will destroy America’s ability…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Before he was the CEO of Anheuser-Busch, Brendan Whitworth was a CIA operative. Interesting how that works, it’s not like the CIA is know for pushing leftist subversion around the world, from Iran to Rhodesia, Russia to South Africa…oh, wait. So yeah, it makes sense that a CIA operative would try to use a well-known beer brand to push leftist subversion. But Whitworth ostensibly left the CIA years ago, why now? Well, it turns out that they still had their hooks in him. Posting a…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact From the Biden Administration’s latest statement about Mexico and our agreement with it, you’d think everything was rainbow and unicorns between the two countries, as the “joint statement” released by both was mainly positive and talked about how closely they’re working together, saying, in part: DOJ’s Operation Southbound, led by the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives, encompasses a whole-of-government approach to disrupt firearms trafficking from the United States to Mexico. This initiative, which includes Department of Homeland Security law enforcement, has significantly increased firearms trafficking investigations with…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In yet another major misstep, the Biden White House decided to let Cackling Kamala Harris speak on a hot-button political issue, a decision that ended in disaster when she ended up proclaiming that “the best pregnancy is an abortion,” infuriating the conservative base and those Christians that still vote Democrat. Beginning her speech, she said: So, we meet yet again, we convene yet again to discuss the work that our administration has done and will continue to do to stand for the rights of all…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden just channeled his inner George W. Bush and gave a “mission accomplished” speech on the inflation fight, a battle very much not won, saying: Today’s report shows continued progress in our fight against inflation with the 12-month inflation rate at the lowest level since May 2021. This progress follows last week’s news that our job market remains historically strong. Inflation has now fallen by 45% from its summer peak. Gas prices are down more than $1.40 from the summer, and grocery prices fell…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kamala Harris just gave a speech about…well, that was hard to tell. But she did stand on a stage and mumble words for awhile while occasionally cackling, which is about par for the course for her. During the speech, she attacked “gun violence” and “the people’s voice,” saying: We are here because they and their colleagues, the Democratic caucus of the state legislature — and I’d ask you to stand as well, please — (applause) — because they chose to show courage in the face…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The White House just released two Easter Day statements, one of which was “meh” and the second of which was absolutely horrifying. In the first, Biden did the typical thing non-believers do when they want others to think they’re Christian and made some vague, general statements about Easter and Christ without adding anything to show that he really believes it or wants to convert others to the true faith. In the statement, he said: Jill and I join Christians around the world in celebrating Easter…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. A Texas judge recently decided that a certain type of abortion pill can’t be sold because it isn’t safe. Predictably, the left freaked out, and so Biden posted an absurd press statement on Twitter, saying: Today a single federal district judge in Texas ruled that a prescription medication that has been available for more than 22 years, approved by the FDA and used safely and effectively by millions of women here and around the world, should no longer be approved in the United States. The…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Slow Joe Biden just have a short speech about the current job environment. In the speech, he said: This is a good jobs report for hard-working Americans. Today’s report shows that we continue to face economic challenges from a position of strength, with the economy adding 236,000 jobs last month and the unemployment rate at 3.5%. My economic agenda has powered an historic economic recovery. We’ve created 12.6 million jobs since I took office. The unemployment rate is close to the lowest it has…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre was excited to announce on Tuesday that Finland was a new member of NATO and that, because of its new, close ties to the United States, it would be required to pass “progressive and forward-thinking” laws that would “show its commitment to diversity and democratic values.” Specifically, she announced that Finland would have to import millions of African migrants and pass new gay rights laws. She began by warmly welcoming Finland into NATO, saying: “Today, President Biden released…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Cackling Kamala Harris had a bad moment over the weekend when, speaking to crowd in Zambia, she argued that the Zambian middle class needs to be more accepting of gay rights and other leftist beliefs. The speech started okay, with Kamala saying: On this trip, I have worked with African partners, as well as partners in the United States and around the world, to deliver significant investments on this continent. Yesterday, here in Lusaka, I announced more than $7 billion in private sector commitments that…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Storms recently tore through American and Biden, always wanting to be part of the day’s events, released a statement on the matter in which he said that he was praying for those impacted and would do what he could to help, saying: Jill and I are praying for everyone impacted by the devastating storms this weekend. While we are still assessing the full extent of the damage, we know families across America are mourning the loss of loved ones, desperately waiting for news of others…