Author: will

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In a statement that was something of a surprise given everything else that is currently going on, White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre viciously attacked Republicans and the judiciary for striking at the Affordable Care Act, saying: The President is glad to see the Department of Justice is appealing the judge’s decision, which blocks a key provision of the Affordable Care Act that has ensured free access to preventive health care for 150 million Americans. This case is yet another attack on the Affordable…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Do Democrats see things through the lens of morality, justice, and the American Way? Lol, no. They see things firmly and only through the lens of the Schmidttian friend-enemy distinction. That is, to them, justice is not what the fairly and equally applied law says, but instead what is good for their friends and bad for their enemies. Republicans should see things through that lens too…but often don’t. In any case, Team Biden showed its commitment to the friend-enemy distinction when, after the Covenant School…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Team Biden just put out a statement describing how they plan on defending “our democracy” in the future and…it’s about as bad as you’d expect. If not worse. Beginning the statement, they use as many buzz words as possible, particularly “technology” and “democracy.” In their words: The first wave of the digital revolution promised that new technologies would support democracy and human rights. The second saw an authoritarian counterrevolution. Now, the United States and other democracies are working together to ensure that the third wave…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden just released his new tax hike plan and, as expected, it’s a doozy. It’d bilk the already overtaxed American taxpayer out of trillions more every year, further stifling productivity and punishing the productive by making them pay for the lifestyles of the lazy and incompetent. Predictably, he claimed to be decreasing taxes and blamed “MAGA Republicans” for wanting to raise taxes, saying: The President’s economic vision is to invest in America and grow the economy from the bottom up and middle out, not…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such Biden haughtily patted himself on the back during a recent press conference in Canada, saying that his administration has “done a pretty damn good job” dealing with bank failures as America’s economic system crumbles. Here’s the transcript of that: Q Thank you, Mr. President. Some on Wall Street have expressed frustration that it’s unclear what more your administration is willing to do to resolve the banking crisis. The markets have remained in turmoil. So how confident are you that the problem is contained? And if…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden recently spoke with the Governor of Mississippi, Tate Reeves, over the phone. The two discussed the damage inflicted upon Mississippi by recent inclement weather, namely highly destructive storms and tornadoes that ripped through the state, flinging cars and houses like children’s toys as winds whipped the survivors. The Biden White House said as much in its statement on the phone call, saying: Today, President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. held separate calls with Governor Tate Reeves, Senators Roger Wicker and Cindy Hyde-Smith, and…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It’s no secret that America is running out of weapons to send to the Ukraine. Our ammunition stockpiles are running low as our artillery shell stockpiles are used up and our vehicle parks sit empty, with what used to fill the ammo cans, armories, and vehicle parks now dotting some field in Donetsk. But we’re not out of everything. Even if the conventional weapons we spent decades building and trillions of dollars on are all but gone thanks to the regime’s generosity toward Ukraine, there’s…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Slow Joe Biden just gave a bizarre speech about government funding of art in which he suggested that George Washington would have supported subsidies for work “artwork” and that “our democracy” depends on taping a banana to a wall and calling it art. During that speech, Biden said: General Washington wrote, and I quote, “The arts and sciences [are] essential to the prosperity of the State and…the ornament and happiness of human life.” He knew the greatness of a nation was measured not only…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. How’s Brandon’s brain doing? Not great. It’s down to its last few cells. Such was apparent during a recent press briefing the brain-dead president was giving in which he tried claiming that the “MAGA Republicans” are the reason for budget issues. Reading from a recent statement that had been released earlier by his office, Biden said: The extreme MAGA Republican House Freedom Caucus has made their priorities clear: imposing devastating cuts to public safety and increasing costs for working- and middle-class families, all to protect…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. DA Alvin Bragg is the Soros-funded DA behind the Trump indictment. He plans to arrest Trump on Tuesday and, so far, at least, isn’t backing down. He said, in a statement to his staff, “Our law enforcement partners will ensure that any specific or credible threats against the office will be fully investigated and that the proper safeguards are in place so all 1,600 of us have a secure work environment.” Continuing, he added, “as with all of our investigations, we will continue to apply…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such.  President Joe Biden recently gave a speech with the Taoiseach (Prime Minister), Leo Varadkar, of Ireland and, during the speech, infuriated him by making an “insensitive” joke about the Irish. Things began okay with Biden saying: Thank you, thank you, thank you.  (Applause.)  Thank you.  (Applause.)  Thank you, thank you, thank you. You have all heard the expression — and this is attributed to a guy named Shane Leslie, who once wrote, “Every St. Patrick’s Day, every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to…

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden’s Press Secretary, Karine Jean-Pierre, recently declared during the Thursday press briefing that red states need to make abortion access in their states “safe, legal, and frequent” and threatened military action if they didn’t comply. That came when one reported asked, “And then just another one. Are — is the administration planning for different contingencies as it relates to the case over the abortion pill, particularly as yesterday it seemed the judge — the judge seemed receptive to the argument that the pill is unsafe?”…

NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Senator John Fetterman, also known as “Lurch” by those who keep up with him and his inability to speak, is now identifying as a “trans woman.” That announcement came from his staff, who said that while in the hospital for his “mental health concerns,” Senator Lurch decided to “kill two birds with one stone” and have his “gender affirming surgery completed.” Announcing that in a statement, the senator’s team said: “Senator Fetterman, as many of you now know, is in the hospital to restore her…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Biden patted himself on the back for bailing out a woke bank’s depositors in a statement released last night by the White House Briefing Room, saying: Over the weekend, and at my direction, the Treasury Secretary and my National Economic Council Director worked diligently with the banking regulators to address problems at Silicon Valley Bank and Signature Bank. I am pleased that they reached a prompt solution that protects American workers and small businesses, and keeps our financial system safe. The solution also ensures…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. When asked if she and the US Treasury would bail out Silicon Valley Bank, Janet Yellen first said the reasonable thing, which was “The reforms that have been put in place means that we’re not going to do that again. But we are concerned about depositors and are focused on trying to meet their needs.” But then the bankers around the country lost their collective minds and started yelling about how saving their business so they can afford their $200,000 cars and NYC or LA penthouses,…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The American stock market has crashed hard thanks to Joe Biden’s utterly idiotic economic policies. From the heights it hit under Trump, it’s been going down lower and lower as Bidenflation rips through the economy and Biden leads America into the gaping maw of utter disaster abroad. Let’s go Brandon! Naturally, normal Americans have been quite upset by that state of things. Their pension plans, if they’re lucky enough to have them, are on the rocky shoals of pending collapse as their underlying assets crumble.…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden kicked off his speech for his fiscal year 2024 budget with an odd fixation on the group “Moms Demand Action,” saying: Hello, Philadelphia! Now, before I get going — hey, everybody. How are you? (Applause.) “Moms Demand Action.” We’re going to get action. Hey, you know, what? His mom is watching — Tina. Tina, I don’t know — I wish you were here. I could meet you. But they say — they speak of the — with a little bit of an accent in…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was another bad day for the Biden Administration, this time thanks to the Mexican cartels. More specifically, it was thanks to the no-good, very-bad, insanely weak response that the Biden Administration had to those cartels. Instead of standing tall and strong and declaring that it would fight against them, it decided on a “hugs and kisses” campaign to get American families back. That was kicked off by White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre. She, when announcing the campaign during the press conference, first…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things got super awkward for the public health bureaucracy when, on Saturday, NIH head Tony Fauci croaked from a heart attack during the middle of a live stream about the vaccine he pushed being “safe and effective.” That came about two hours into the video in which Fauci was presenting the pro-vaccine “evidence,” evidence that consisted almost solely of his opinions. Speaking on the jab, Fauci was doing his usual routine and said, speaking on the vaccines: “All three of them are really quite good,…

NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Biden keeps taking tumbles when he tries to go up or down the stairs of Air Force One. When going up and in full view of the camera, that’s obviously just because he’s a senile moron who can barely walk anymore. But there have been a few incidents where Biden starts at the stop of the stairs and takes a tumble down them, such as the recent incident in Poland. There, a blurry Biden could be seen trying to walk down the stairs but falling,…