Trump to Move to Wyoming, Run Against Liz Cheney in 2022 Midterms Just to Rub in His Defeat of Her and Her Brand of Politics
Ghislaine Worried To Find Her New Cellmate is “Hillaro Clintoni”, Promptly Found Dead after Saying that She Has No Plans to Commit Suicide
Democrats Demand National Athem Be Changed to “Better Reflect Modern America”, Trump Suggests Replacing it with “FJB” Chant
Upon Hearing Latest US Military Policy, China Pledges to Fully Fund, Expand Its “Pronoun Warfare” Division
Biden Bans Lessons on Fall of Rome in American Schools, Citing “Racist” Lessons about Mass Migration Ending the Empire
Liz Cheney Attacks “#Gentleminions” Trend as an “Insurrection”, Orders FBI to Investigate “Russian Influence Operation”
Scholars Find “Denying Access to Puberty Blockers” Included in the “history of repeated injuries and usurpations” Draft of Declaration of Independence
Katanji Jackson Secretly Happy Dobbs Decided Before She Became a Justice Because She Still Has No Idea What a Woman Is