NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Hunter Biden got very, very confused on Friday night. While hanging out at a DC bar with some friends, drinking top shelf bourbon paid for with a Chinese credit card, the question of his whopper of a $50k a month rent bill came up. Hunter, who had made that number up based on a Rosemont Seneca expense in the hope of seeming rich enough to make it into an exclusive community, didn’t want to admit that he had lied and was broke other than the…
Author: will
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things didn’t go great for Hunter Biden and Joe Biden yesterday, at which time the FBI announced that they’d made a very incriminating discovery regarding the Biden documents and what might have been going on with them. Apparently, a Hunter Biden Craigslist post from 2018 showed that Hunter had been attempting to sell off the documents, which he thought were just presidential memorabilia, because he needed the money for his crack addiction and child support bills. The FBI, releasing a statement on the matter, said…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In a desperate bid to cash in on Trump’s record of making absolutely horrible endorsements on Twitter when pressed by random people close to him to do so (Paul Ryan for Speaker of the House, Mitch McConnell for Senate, Mitt Romney for Senate, etc.), Florida Governor Ron DeSantis has now asked for Trump’s endorsement…for 2024…in which primary he’ll be running against former President Trump for the GOP nomination. Trump, unsurprisingly, fired from the hip with his first response and said that he would “absolutely support”…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Apparently Joe Biden isn’t the only one in the White House to have a large stash of classified documents hidden away. Joining him in that is his Vice President, Kamala Harris, who we just found out had an entire room in her residence devoted to flash cards that had been given a “classified” or “Top Secret” rating by the intelligence agencies. The cards were apparently created for Kamala by the CIA and NSA after they got tired of listening to her mess up place names,…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Taking action to try and destroy a few batches of classified documents before investigators could get to them and find out what exactly it was that Biden had been storing at his Delaware home, President Joe Biden decided to take a weekend trip up to the house and try shredding the documents. According to our source within the White House, Biden went on Amazon Prime, tried ordering a paper shredder, got frustrated trying to figure out all the “newfangled technology” (by which he meant clicking…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. President Joe Biden once again threatened to bomb American dissidents and use gun control to disarm people who wish to own the arms and accessories for those arms that are necessary for self-defense, telling a crowd during a speech that it’s time to ban the number of bullets that can go in a magazine, whatever that means, and that guns are useless for self-defense against the government because it can bomb you with F-15s. “And ban the number of bullets and go in a magazine.…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Who’s to blame for the latest Biden disaster? Is it Hunter Biden that’s in trouble for selling stuff to the Chinese in exchange for gems, no limit credit cards, and all the other blessings of influence peddling (minus the 10% for the Big Guy, of course)? Is it Biden’s fault for taking the documents with him and then filling his garage and a think tank with them? Is it someone on his staff’s fault for not making sure that he wasn’t acting like an idiot?…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Another day, another example of Hunter Biden using his position of influence to profit off his dad and then, when caught, pretending like it was all one big mistake. This time that happened because of the Biden classified documents, which the New York Post found in a shocking report that Hunter Biden turned over to the Red Chinese. Specifically, Hunter, in exchange for a few large gems and two no-limit credit cards, gave the Chinese MSS agents he knew “housekeeping access” to the garage where…
Well, the Biden document controversy continues to unfold, with the scandal now dragging the Clintons into it as it continues to escalate and Biden continues to provide non-satisfactory answers as to what he was doing keeping classified foreign policy documents in his garage, in a Chinese-connected think tank, and on the Clinton email server. It was that last location that news broke on today, with it leaking out that the DOJ and FBI, during their half-hearted investigation into what Biden was up to (they’d prefer to be busy entrapping Trump right now), found that millions of classified Biden documents had…
With the ongoing, painful to watch saga surrounding a bunch of classified Biden documents being found in places they shouldn’t have been continuing to unfold, you might think that things couldn’t get worse for the senile septuagenarian from an optics perspective. But, as could be predicted given that Brandon is involved, a turn for the worse is the turn they took. Specifically, an otherwise unrelated video that was just released from China shows that Chinese Premier Xi Jinping has access to classified Biden documents relating to national security, with analysts suspecting based on the names of the folders that the…
It’s looking increasingly like China will invade Taiwan, as Xi Jinping’s totalitarian state builds up army groups, naval resources, military aircraft, and massive weapons stockpiles in Chinese cities and bases near the Taiwan Straight. When exactly the Red Chinese will give the “go” order is unclear, but it seems likely that Chinese Marines will soon be storming the beaches of Formosa as J-11 jets roar overhead and destroyers pound the rocky cliffs with cruise missiles and naval gunfire. What is clear, however, is that the US military is dangerously exposed in the region thanks to Biden’s shifting of naval and…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things have gotten weird over in Congress. There, Rep. Kevin McCarthy of California, a guy who many of us consider something between an Establishment Conservative and the MAGA side of the party, has had a full-on conservative glow-up. Though never a RINO of the Sen. Mitt Romney mold, nor really as plugged into the Establishment GOP as someone like Mitch McConnell or Dan Crenshaw, Kevin has hardly been a Trump sound alike. He’s pretty good, all things considered, but not necessarily great. Until now, that…
You know you’re hearing from Dr. Jill when you hear a woman giving a speech so bland, dumb, and evident of vapidity that you would think Kamala Harris is the one giving it but there’s no telltale cackle to alert you to cackling Kamala’s presence. Such was obvious yet again in a recent speech that Dr. Jill gave in Mexico. Speaking about “empowered women,” Dr. Jill said that such women power economies in the blandest terms imaginable. In her words: ¡Buenos Dias! Thank you all for joining us today. Meeting women like all of you is so inspiring to me,…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Hot off the heels of his recent victory, new Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy immediately got to disappointing the base, announcing that he was looking forward to “compromising” with the Democrats on all the issues on which there is the “opportunity for bipartisan reform”. That came as a surprise to many in the conservative base. They saw McCarthy present himself as a fighter in the wake of the chaos over his attempt to become the Speaker of the House and assumed (lol) that he…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Unsure of how to deal with continued, persistently high inflation, President Joe Biden is calling on former President Barack Obama, under whom he served as Vice President, to use the tool for which the Obama presidency became most famous to take on the inflation threat. No, that’s not Air Force One, on which Obama traveled the world apologizing for how terrible (in his demented view) America was in the past. Nor is it the Central Bank, perhaps the most important and appropriate means with which…
NOTE: the following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things got awkward for Democrat mayors around the country on Thursday when, as a result of the backlash over his shipping illegals around the country to get them out of Texas and off the back of the state’s financial and public services systems, Greg Abbott challenged those Democrats who stood against him and his migrant bussing policy. That came when Governor Abbott threw down the gauntlet by responding to a post by Mayor Eric Adams of New York City in which Mayor Adams said “Look,…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Ever ready to let down their voters in the most painful and humiliating way possible, Congressional Republicans finally got their act together to vote for one candidate and, ready to infuriate everyone but David French and his ilk, made Caitlyn Jenner the Speaker of the House. Kevin McCarthy, who up until now has demanded that he be made Speaker of the House, said that he was “happy to step down so that Caitlyn could take the lead” because he knew that “she will do what…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Things have taken another turn in the energy industry, this time thanks to some cloudy weather and an overreliance on solar power in some states, locales, and even countries. What happened? Well, to put it simply, it got cloudy. Clouds covered the US and much of Europe for about three days thanks to some nasty weather, meaning that not much sunlight was able to reach the panels and power homes, businesses, buildings, and all those other consumers of electricity. In some sane states, that wasn’t…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Kevin McCarthy is rip-roaring, raging mad right now. Why? Not necessarily because 19 of the more conservative GOP members of Congress voted against him, as he wouldn’t have cared about their dislike of him had 19 Democrats come over to his side. Nor was he even all that mad that he might not have the chance to finally wield the Speaker’s gavel and tell everyone what to do. Rather, Kevin “Is He a RINO or Not?” McCarthy is just upset that he won’t get to…
NOTE: The following article is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Try as Team Biden might to make inflation go away, primarily by raising interest rates to try and get the economy slowed down and inflation down with it, the Fed’s tactics just aren’t working like they used to. Interest rates are up, people are mad about their mortgages being more expensive and the economy cooling off, and no one really knows whether the economy is about to crater or things will work out despite the continued, feckless management of our economy by the idiots in…